Beauty and the Bathing Suit

So I am at the gym taking a strength training class and the instructor shares with us that she is going on vacation next week and needs to go bathing suit shopping. As the twenty of us are hoping that she isn't losing count - she is sharing with us her fear of entering the dreaded dressing room with the bad flourescent lighting and four mirrors. This woman of great character and physical strength, a mother of four children - including a set of twin teenage daughters, a cancer survivor, a respected boys' hockey team strength training coach, a motivator for those who attend her classes, a world traveler, and great friend with a killer sense of humor. She is all of these things PLUS another beautiful amazing woman was being taken down by ... a bathing suit.

This post is for Karen and all women out there who feel good about themselves until they have to try on or wear a bathing suit. Here are The Beautiful Women Project's tips on how to feel beautiful all summer long.

1. Be confident. Before you go shopping or put the bathing suit on for the first day of the season make a list of things that you really like about yourself. There is nothing wrong with boosting your own self confidence. The way that you feel about yourself does affect the way that you view yourself when looking in the mirror.

2. Surround yourself with the people that already like you for who you are not what you look like. Go shopping with your friends - make it a girls day out. You know that your best girlfriends will tell you what makes you look amazing and what you should leave behind in the dressing room. This will also boost your confidence the first time you wear your bathing suit - you already know that you have the support of those that matter the most.

3. Choose a bathing suit that makes you comfortable, not self conscious. Whether it is a full piece, bikini, or shorts and a t-shirt – put on whatever allows you to have fun. It is about embracing life not hiding out while life passes you by.

4. Don’t compare yourself to others. Whether you are in your backyard with friends and family, a community pool, or beach don't look at other women's body parts and see how you match up. Wishing that you look like an ideal that may not be realistic for your body type is not healthy mentally, emotionally, and especially physically. Recognize that you are unique and that is what makes you beautiful. If you want to make changes to your physical body, discuss these ideas with your physician who will help you set and achieve realistic goals.

5. Participate in activities that you enjoy. Build sandcastles, play volleyball, ride the surf, or lose yourself in a good book. The summer is for relaxing. If you are anxious, shifting your focus onto things that you really enjoy will help you forget about your insecurities and allow you to enjoy yoru day, weekend, or vacation.

More than anything else, remember that the bathing suit is a piece of clothing; material sewn together to wear while swimming. It can't hurt you. Don't let it hurt you.

Why Are So Many of Us Women Afraid of our Own Shadows?

Sunday was Groundhog Day - and the powers that be say that if the groundhog sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter. Why is the groundhog afraid of his own shadow? Better yet, why are so many of us women afraid of own shadows?

A shadow is simply a silhouette of our being. Silhouette - such a beautiful word. I remember as a child that as part of a class project the teacher would call us up one by one and outline our sihouettes for us. We would then cut them out, paste them on another sheet of paper and give them as presents to our mothers for Mother's Day. Our shadows were presents - gifts.

Our shadows are still gifts. They show us the curves that define our bodies, the wisps of hair that frame our faces, the length of our legs that carry us everyday. Our shadows only define our physical beings, they don't define who we are as individuals. We are responsible for the type of people that we want to be in this lifetime. When I look at my shadow I need to reflect upon the type of wife, mother, daughter, friend, and member of my community that I want to be, not the fact that I look stubby because I am five foot three and all of the flyaways are pronounced on the cement below me. Whenever I think of these things when I see my shadow - I smile, this is what I am most proud of and the rest melts away even for only a moment.

Next time you see your shadow, don't be afraid. Stop and take a moment to look at your body and become your shadow's friend. Don't run from who you are - create who you want to be.

True Self, True Beauty

I love the days that The Beautiful Women Project women go on a field trip. It is an opportunity for me to meet women, hear their stories, and reaffirm what I believed in my heart when I created this project: we are not alone in our journey. So, that leads me to the question: if we are not alone on our journeys why does it feel so lonely at times?

Sharing our thoughts and experiences is sometimes difficult to do with family and friends. We are so afraid of being judged for being who we really are that we choose to isolate ourselves rather than of share what may be the best part of ourselves. It is easier to share ourselves with strangers - whether it be at an exhibition or through the internet, because strangers don't have any expectations for who we are suppose to be - they just accept us for who we present to them in that moment. Usually, that is our truest selves. And that is when we are most beautiful.

It is really scary to show a side of yourself that you don't think others will accept, I know I have been there myself. I bet what you will find is one of two things: (1) people already had a sense about who you really were and have been waiting for your revelation and/or (2) they respect you for being true to yourself.

It is here that I come back to my premise: beauty shines from within and when you are true to yourself your light shines brighter and brighter. It is the sum of your life experiences that makes you beautiful and the more that you share those experiences, share your true self, you will find that you are not alone on your journey. There are so many other women who are experiencing and feeling the same things you are in your life. The community of women is wonderful, welcoming, and supportive. Join us in sharing your true selves, your true beauty.

It Is Time to Take A Moment

It is Sunday and the weekend is winding down. It is a great time to take a moment and recognize the beauty that lies within us all. It is the sum of our life's experiences that makes us beautiful, and remembering that is the first, and often the most difficult part, of really loving ourselves for who we are not what we look like to the outside world. The truth is, the more comfortable we are with ourselves, the more beautiful we are to the world...beauty shines through us.

I, know first hand how hard it is to really think of ourselves as beautiful. I started in a very dark place just five years ago. Despite my own accomplishments, large and small, I didn't find myself beautiful simply because I didn't fit the conventions of beauty. Since I began the Beautiful Women Project, I have come into contact with thousands of women like myself, struggling to find, and accept, their inner beauty. In doing so, I have come to define my own image. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments: the morning (usually a Monday just as I am getting ready to face the week) I see gray hairs popping out on the top of my head, I have become ever more reluctant to walk around the gym in figure hugging clothing, and I often catch myself staring at the age spots on my face. It is easier to get caught up in these "imperfections" rather than recognizing that all of this is just the experiences of my life that make me...me.