As everyone watched the United States of America swear in its 44th President, all eyes were on the Obama family. It was magical to see the country came together, it was a sea of hope.
Nonetheless, in the midst of it all, the media didn't miss a beat in commenting and critiqueing the First Lady and her daughters' appearance. Focusing attention to one's appearance has become an acceptable part of our society. Not one media outlet commented upon the grace and poise these women showed as they too were in the center of the frenzy. Michelle Obama stood proud that day, not only of her husband, but in the knowledge of all that she too had accomplished in the days, months, and years leading up to that historical day. And everyone knows the integral part she played, and will continue to play in the coming years. The young ladies began a new life, a life that will be unlike anything that they have ever experienced, but are embracing as a part of their lives' journey. Yet, the media couldn't resist commented on their dresses, their coats, the reason they chose the colors of their dresses and coats, or her choice of a shoulder gown versus a halter gown. No one commented on the President's suit, tie, over overcoat. No one mentioned the President's white bow tie was crooked at the Neighborhood Ball. Media outlets are still "breaking down" the outfits of the women two days after the event and will continue every time there is a public event.
We all heard many wonderful, inspiring words spoke by the President that day. The atmosphere was electric. Because of what The Beautiful Women Project stands for, recognized that a woman's beauty is the sum of her life experiences...words cannot express how amazing it was when the first words the President spoke to the nation at The Neighborhood Ball was, "Doesn't my wife look beautiful tonight?"
He saw before him so much more than a woman standing before him in a white ball gown.
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Stop Trying to Be Perfect and Find Happiness
We can spend our lifetime chasing a concept of perfection, and never feel as if we have achieved our goal. Finding perfection is like running on a treadmill, unitl you shut off the machine it continues its unending cycle. Perfection is defined as, "...a person or thing that is the perfect embodiment of some quality." Instead of trying to become the perfect embodiment of something or someone else, why can't we accept ourselves as perfect the individuals we have already created with our life experiences?
Marcia, one of the women in The Beautiful Women Project, shared with me a wonderful piece of wisdom. She awoke one morning with a question in her head, "Do you want to be happy?" Her immediate response was, "Of course, who doesn't want to live their life being happy." She was immediately greeted with the thought, "Then stop trying to always be right and perfect." Marcia went on to teach me that trying to be right or perfect is the stuff that leads us down the road of low self esteem and self loathing instead of self love, sickness and disease instead of health and wellness.
Another Beautiful Women Project story brings home this point. Throughout her life, Suzi always had to be the best at everything: head cheerleader, valedictorian, college scholarship. She was well respected at the top of her profession, a super-mom at home and at her children's school, and kept an immaculate house. Everything was perfect accept the way she felt about herself. Exhausted from the chaos of it all, she realized that it was impossible to be everything to everyone, because there was nothing left for herself. She said good-bye to the notion of Perfect Suzi. Now the dinner dishes are delegated, morning meetings have to wait until the kids are off to school, and there are only a few things that take her away from her family nights and weekends. And in her newly imperfect lifestyle she has found a happiness she never had while trying to always be perfect.
Trying to be perfect is exhausting. Refocus your energy and give back to yourself. Recognize all of the things about yourself that are wonderful, that bring you joy, and that make you proud of the woman you are today.
Marcia, one of the women in The Beautiful Women Project, shared with me a wonderful piece of wisdom. She awoke one morning with a question in her head, "Do you want to be happy?" Her immediate response was, "Of course, who doesn't want to live their life being happy." She was immediately greeted with the thought, "Then stop trying to always be right and perfect." Marcia went on to teach me that trying to be right or perfect is the stuff that leads us down the road of low self esteem and self loathing instead of self love, sickness and disease instead of health and wellness.
Another Beautiful Women Project story brings home this point. Throughout her life, Suzi always had to be the best at everything: head cheerleader, valedictorian, college scholarship. She was well respected at the top of her profession, a super-mom at home and at her children's school, and kept an immaculate house. Everything was perfect accept the way she felt about herself. Exhausted from the chaos of it all, she realized that it was impossible to be everything to everyone, because there was nothing left for herself. She said good-bye to the notion of Perfect Suzi. Now the dinner dishes are delegated, morning meetings have to wait until the kids are off to school, and there are only a few things that take her away from her family nights and weekends. And in her newly imperfect lifestyle she has found a happiness she never had while trying to always be perfect.
Trying to be perfect is exhausting. Refocus your energy and give back to yourself. Recognize all of the things about yourself that are wonderful, that bring you joy, and that make you proud of the woman you are today.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Beauty and Breast Cancer
The Beautiful Women Project is about the strength and beauty of women - one does not exist with the other.
This past week, one of our own was diagnosed with breast cancer. As she has throughout her life, she is facing this challenge with grace, courage, and beauty. I won't lie to any of you, she is frightened and confused, she has no idea what lies ahead, but she is facing this challenge with her head held high and her feet firmly planted in the ground. She is ready to fight. Nancy is drawing on the strength of her family, her friends, and those in her community that love her for who she is and the way in which she has touched their lives.
This amazing woman often thanks me for how The Beautiful Women Project has changed the way she sees herself as a woman, improved her relationships with her children and siblings, and opened her eyes to all of the good in her life. I see her quite often and have watched the transformation - she has embraced her beauty and continues to touch those in her life and community. She is more beautiful today than she was the day I met her and asked her to be a part of The Beautiful Women Project.
From this point forward, in her honor, any book purchased directly from the Beautiful Women Project web site will be donated to breast cancer organizations fighting the beautiful fight for women. Thank you for your support. Most importantly, I thank you for your thoughts and prayers for our Beautiful Woman.
This past week, one of our own was diagnosed with breast cancer. As she has throughout her life, she is facing this challenge with grace, courage, and beauty. I won't lie to any of you, she is frightened and confused, she has no idea what lies ahead, but she is facing this challenge with her head held high and her feet firmly planted in the ground. She is ready to fight. Nancy is drawing on the strength of her family, her friends, and those in her community that love her for who she is and the way in which she has touched their lives.
This amazing woman often thanks me for how The Beautiful Women Project has changed the way she sees herself as a woman, improved her relationships with her children and siblings, and opened her eyes to all of the good in her life. I see her quite often and have watched the transformation - she has embraced her beauty and continues to touch those in her life and community. She is more beautiful today than she was the day I met her and asked her to be a part of The Beautiful Women Project.
From this point forward, in her honor, any book purchased directly from the Beautiful Women Project web site will be donated to breast cancer organizations fighting the beautiful fight for women. Thank you for your support. Most importantly, I thank you for your thoughts and prayers for our Beautiful Woman.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Beauty of Being a Girl
There is something amazing about just being a girl. This past week the Beautiful Women Project has been at the Springside School for Girls in Philadelphia. It is an amazing place where the spirit of womanhood thrives. The girls come in all shapes and sizes, there are little girls moving upward and there are young women getting ready to move onward toward college. There is a sense of oneness, yet the knowledge that each and everyone of them is an individual. A wonderful example of this has been my favorite thing to observe: despite the requirement of wearing a uniform, each girl wears different socks and shoes that express their personalities, the way they feel that morning as they get dressed and how they want the world to see them throughout the day.
This wonderful school, and so many others like it across the country, is a living and breathing example of the beauty of being a woman. Woman are there for one another to support each other through good days and bad days. They are there to lift one another up toward their goals and catch them if they slip or fall on their way. They are there to help one another express their greatest delights or ther greatest fears. Yes, there is competition, but it is the kind of competition that builds one another up - not tear one another down. There is no greater bond that women share, regardless of all of the things that may seem to make us different, we all start out as little girls who grow into amazing women. There is just something so amazing about being a girl.
This wonderful school, and so many others like it across the country, is a living and breathing example of the beauty of being a woman. Woman are there for one another to support each other through good days and bad days. They are there to lift one another up toward their goals and catch them if they slip or fall on their way. They are there to help one another express their greatest delights or ther greatest fears. Yes, there is competition, but it is the kind of competition that builds one another up - not tear one another down. There is no greater bond that women share, regardless of all of the things that may seem to make us different, we all start out as little girls who grow into amazing women. There is just something so amazing about being a girl.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Beautiful Women Project's Second Anniversary and Breast Cancer Awareness Month
This weekend marks The Beautiful Women Project's Second Anniversary. The Beautiful Women Project was launched on October 11, 2006, in Saratoga Springs, NY. In the past two years we have raised awareness of women's health initiatives, visited numerous art in public space venues, helped raise funds for countless not-for-profits, and through our outreach work have touched the lives of thousands of individuals.
I purposefully chose the month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, to launch The Beautiful Women Project. As women, every October, we are reminded how important it is to take the time to conduct self-examinations of our breasts. This very simple preventative measure is one of the best ways that we have gained ground in the fight against breast cancer. Unfortunately, all too often, something that is healthy for us as women - self examination, becomes something that becomes unhealthy. It is easy to begin the searching to find all of the things we don't like about our bodies - the bit of flesh coming out of the bra, the breasts that don't stand up at attention as they did when we were teenagers, the skin under our arms that hangs from the bone, the sun spots that run across the upper chest, the hips that may have widened after childbirth...the list can go on and on and on.
Beginning this month - WHEN YOU CONDUCT YOUR SELF BREAST EXAMINATION, instead of making a list of all of the things you don't like about your body write down one thing you LIKE ABOUT YOUR BODY. Next month, look at your list of one and add a second. Each month add something new that you like about your body to your list and by the end of the year you should have at least twelve things you like about your body and healthy breasts.
If you are one of the thousands of women who do not conduct their monthly breast exams because you don't like looking at your body in the mirror, take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror - fully clothed, and see your own beauty. Please take the time to honor yourself and conduct your breast examination, even if you do it with a shirt on this first month. Before, or after, write down one thing that you do like about your body. Next month, conduct your self exam again and write two things you like about your body - by the end of the year you will have at least twelve things you like about your body, be comfortable with your body, and you will be healthy.
It is also fitting that October 15th has been designated Love Your Body Day by the National Organization for Women. On this, and everyday, take a moment to recognize that your physical body is a small part of your individual beauty - it is the sum of your life experiences that shine through your body that makes you beautiful.
I purposefully chose the month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, to launch The Beautiful Women Project. As women, every October, we are reminded how important it is to take the time to conduct self-examinations of our breasts. This very simple preventative measure is one of the best ways that we have gained ground in the fight against breast cancer. Unfortunately, all too often, something that is healthy for us as women - self examination, becomes something that becomes unhealthy. It is easy to begin the searching to find all of the things we don't like about our bodies - the bit of flesh coming out of the bra, the breasts that don't stand up at attention as they did when we were teenagers, the skin under our arms that hangs from the bone, the sun spots that run across the upper chest, the hips that may have widened after childbirth...the list can go on and on and on.
Beginning this month - WHEN YOU CONDUCT YOUR SELF BREAST EXAMINATION, instead of making a list of all of the things you don't like about your body write down one thing you LIKE ABOUT YOUR BODY. Next month, look at your list of one and add a second. Each month add something new that you like about your body to your list and by the end of the year you should have at least twelve things you like about your body and healthy breasts.
If you are one of the thousands of women who do not conduct their monthly breast exams because you don't like looking at your body in the mirror, take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror - fully clothed, and see your own beauty. Please take the time to honor yourself and conduct your breast examination, even if you do it with a shirt on this first month. Before, or after, write down one thing that you do like about your body. Next month, conduct your self exam again and write two things you like about your body - by the end of the year you will have at least twelve things you like about your body, be comfortable with your body, and you will be healthy.
It is also fitting that October 15th has been designated Love Your Body Day by the National Organization for Women. On this, and everyday, take a moment to recognize that your physical body is a small part of your individual beauty - it is the sum of your life experiences that shine through your body that makes you beautiful.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Living In & Loving the Body You Have Today
This past weekend was my dearest friends' twentieth high school reunion. She was petrified about returning to see her high school friends, many of which she has not seen in twenty years. What petrified her most was that the physical body she has today doesn't resemble the body she had on graduation day. It was difficult for her to admit her fears and body image issues, but she was willingness to speak openly and honestly about her body to move through this body image challenge.
The first question that came to me was to ask: At 38, can your body resemble that of an eighteen year old girl? At eighteen, some girls are still growing and developing, some are just finishing puberty. Their breasts are "new", their hips can be quite slender and there is a marked difference between the buttocks, legs, and stomach of an eighteen year old and a woman past her thirties. Let's face it, regardless of how well a woman takes care of herself our bodies continue to develop and change over time. Skin stretches, hips expand, and other metabolic changes can result in physical changes. There is no denying that physical changes continue throughout a woman's lifetime. It is better to embrace the bodies that we have throughout our lifetime and be thankful for all that our bodies do for us everyday.
My second question was more personal: Why does it bother you that you have changed? For my friend it bothered her because in high school she was an athlete, extremely physically fit, and today she doesn't feel that her body reflects that part of her life. Today, her lifestyle has taken her in a different direction, not that of an active individual. She was quick to admit that since she became a mom she has neglected to take time out of her week to exercise, and eating on the fly has become the norm instead of the exception. Throughout the course of our conversation, she came to an awareness that this aspect of how she views her body is something that she knows that she can change, but the fear of failure has held her back from beginning to do the work. She wasn't even afraid of failing herself, it was letting her family and friends down if she couldn't stick with her routine, or ended up losing the weight and then gaining it all back one day. I reminded her that she can't do this for others, it has to be about her and what she wants from her life and her body. Her family and friends love and support her because of who she is, not the number on her scale.
By Saturday evening, my friend was comfortable in the knowledge that it wasn't an eighteen year old girl who would be walking into the reunion, so there was no reason why her body would resemble that of such a young girl. That is who she was then, not who she is today. In this moment of her life, she chose to let the experiences of the past twenty years shine through her for her old friends to see how they have shaped the person she is today.
The first question that came to me was to ask: At 38, can your body resemble that of an eighteen year old girl? At eighteen, some girls are still growing and developing, some are just finishing puberty. Their breasts are "new", their hips can be quite slender and there is a marked difference between the buttocks, legs, and stomach of an eighteen year old and a woman past her thirties. Let's face it, regardless of how well a woman takes care of herself our bodies continue to develop and change over time. Skin stretches, hips expand, and other metabolic changes can result in physical changes. There is no denying that physical changes continue throughout a woman's lifetime. It is better to embrace the bodies that we have throughout our lifetime and be thankful for all that our bodies do for us everyday.
My second question was more personal: Why does it bother you that you have changed? For my friend it bothered her because in high school she was an athlete, extremely physically fit, and today she doesn't feel that her body reflects that part of her life. Today, her lifestyle has taken her in a different direction, not that of an active individual. She was quick to admit that since she became a mom she has neglected to take time out of her week to exercise, and eating on the fly has become the norm instead of the exception. Throughout the course of our conversation, she came to an awareness that this aspect of how she views her body is something that she knows that she can change, but the fear of failure has held her back from beginning to do the work. She wasn't even afraid of failing herself, it was letting her family and friends down if she couldn't stick with her routine, or ended up losing the weight and then gaining it all back one day. I reminded her that she can't do this for others, it has to be about her and what she wants from her life and her body. Her family and friends love and support her because of who she is, not the number on her scale.
By Saturday evening, my friend was comfortable in the knowledge that it wasn't an eighteen year old girl who would be walking into the reunion, so there was no reason why her body would resemble that of such a young girl. That is who she was then, not who she is today. In this moment of her life, she chose to let the experiences of the past twenty years shine through her for her old friends to see how they have shaped the person she is today.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Threads of Beauty
For the past two summers I have been fortunate to have The Beautiful Women Project spend the summers at Wiawaka Holiday Retreat House for Women. It is a beautiful place in Lake George, NY and it is exactly what its name claims to be...a holiday retreat for women.
This year I led two workshops one entitled The Dynamics and Importance of Female Friendships and another on The Threads of Beauty. I created this workshop discussion specifically for a group of women who came to Wiawaka to spend their time together quilting. Not a quilter myself, I spent a great deal of time researching and learning about the art of quilting. Simply stated by the Columbia Encyclopedia, "Quilting is a form of needlework, almost always created by women, most of them anonymous, in which two layers of fabric on either side of in interlining are sewn together, usually with a pattern of back running (quilting) stitches that hold the layers together."
Quilting, a form of storytelling, is a six step process...Six steps that parallel the stories of the telling of an individual's life story.
1. Selecting a Pattern, fabrics, and batting...Who do I want to be? What is my story?
2. Measuring and cutting fabrics the correct size to make blocks from the patterns...An individual's life experiences are the building blocks of their life. We each have our own size and know what is best fit for our life.
3. Piecing blocks together to make a finished "top"...Meeting life's experiences and seeing opportunity in the good as well as the challenges.
4. Layering the quilt top with batting and bcking to make a "quilt sandwich"
5. Quilting by hand or machine through all of the layers of the quilt sandwich...Carrying your experiences so they shine through you for those around you to encounter and bask in your light.
6. Squaring up and trimming excess batting from the edges, sewing and stitching the binding to the quilt backing...Packing and repacking your luggage along your journey. What may have been important or worked in your life in the past may no longer serve you in your present moment.
What are the layers that hold your life together?
This year I led two workshops one entitled The Dynamics and Importance of Female Friendships and another on The Threads of Beauty. I created this workshop discussion specifically for a group of women who came to Wiawaka to spend their time together quilting. Not a quilter myself, I spent a great deal of time researching and learning about the art of quilting. Simply stated by the Columbia Encyclopedia, "Quilting is a form of needlework, almost always created by women, most of them anonymous, in which two layers of fabric on either side of in interlining are sewn together, usually with a pattern of back running (quilting) stitches that hold the layers together."
Quilting, a form of storytelling, is a six step process...Six steps that parallel the stories of the telling of an individual's life story.
1. Selecting a Pattern, fabrics, and batting...Who do I want to be? What is my story?
2. Measuring and cutting fabrics the correct size to make blocks from the patterns...An individual's life experiences are the building blocks of their life. We each have our own size and know what is best fit for our life.
3. Piecing blocks together to make a finished "top"...Meeting life's experiences and seeing opportunity in the good as well as the challenges.
4. Layering the quilt top with batting and bcking to make a "quilt sandwich"
5. Quilting by hand or machine through all of the layers of the quilt sandwich...Carrying your experiences so they shine through you for those around you to encounter and bask in your light.
6. Squaring up and trimming excess batting from the edges, sewing and stitching the binding to the quilt backing...Packing and repacking your luggage along your journey. What may have been important or worked in your life in the past may no longer serve you in your present moment.
What are the layers that hold your life together?
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The Beautiful Women Project is Going Back to School
September has always been my favorite time of year, I truly believe that it is the beginning of my year. Perhaps it is because I always liked going back to school - seeing my old friends, meeting new friends, the routine of everyday life. Maybe that is why I eventually became a teacher - I loved my years teaching high school and middle school, I always looked forward to going back into the classroom and meeting my new students while watching my previous students move onward and upward through the years.
Since October of 2007 The Beautiful Women Project has been traveling to colleges and universities, creating exciting programming incorporating our project, current courses of studies, and related popular culture topics and calendar weeks and months related to women. We have met so many amazing women and men on our travels - all wanting to engage in the discussion of women and beauty. This is a wonderful arena for multi-layered discussions that touch the lives of a wide range of academic and social interests. The Beautiful Women Project is excited about all of the college and university communiities that we will be visiting this academic year.
Beginning this fall, The Beautiful Women Project officially launches our educational partnership with middle and highs school level students. Working with administrators, counseling personnel, educators, and volunteers our project will be bringing exciting and vital character education programming to young women across the country. Our Arts in Education workshops provide opportunities for students to participate in their social development, taking into consideration different learning styles, current curricular discussion and goals, and the interests and lifestyles of the student population Students will walk away from their experience with a new understanding of art in public space, a redefinition of beauty and role models, and tools and resources that they can use when they meet their life experiences and challenges.
We are committed to continue our mission of working with communities across the country bringing a simple yet powerful message : it is the sum of a woman's life experiences that makes her beautiful.
We are always looking for opportunities to bring The Beautiful Women Project to new communities. Please contact us to discuss how we can work with your university, school, conference, or organization.
Since October of 2007 The Beautiful Women Project has been traveling to colleges and universities, creating exciting programming incorporating our project, current courses of studies, and related popular culture topics and calendar weeks and months related to women. We have met so many amazing women and men on our travels - all wanting to engage in the discussion of women and beauty. This is a wonderful arena for multi-layered discussions that touch the lives of a wide range of academic and social interests. The Beautiful Women Project is excited about all of the college and university communiities that we will be visiting this academic year.
Beginning this fall, The Beautiful Women Project officially launches our educational partnership with middle and highs school level students. Working with administrators, counseling personnel, educators, and volunteers our project will be bringing exciting and vital character education programming to young women across the country. Our Arts in Education workshops provide opportunities for students to participate in their social development, taking into consideration different learning styles, current curricular discussion and goals, and the interests and lifestyles of the student population Students will walk away from their experience with a new understanding of art in public space, a redefinition of beauty and role models, and tools and resources that they can use when they meet their life experiences and challenges.
We are committed to continue our mission of working with communities across the country bringing a simple yet powerful message : it is the sum of a woman's life experiences that makes her beautiful.
We are always looking for opportunities to bring The Beautiful Women Project to new communities. Please contact us to discuss how we can work with your university, school, conference, or organization.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Going Back to the Beginning
The message of the Beautiful Women Project is simple, yet so poweful: It is the sum of a woman's life experiences that make her beautiful. For those who have heard me speak either at an exhibition, during an interview, attended a workshop, or have been reading The Beautiful Women Project's blogy, you know that I often write about the need to experience your own beauty. Our experiences are what define who we are as an individual, as a woman. The Beautiful Women Project is one of the greatest experiences of my life.
The Beautiful Women Project began as I sat on the beach in Italy in 2003. My husband is Italian, and we go home every summer to visit our family. This particular summer I was acutely aware that, despite my accomplishments I was not proud of who I was because I was not proud of my body. As I sat under my umbrella, hiding from the world, I began observing all of the women around me on the beach. They were, unlike me, embracing their lives. Swimming, playing, talking with one another, laughing with their families: completely uninhibited by their bodies. They were so beautiful. Their beauty was shining through them, to be shared with all of us around them, for the world to see. I wanted to gain what they had that I did not yet possess. I wanted to know what they knew about true beauty, so that I too could begin embracing life.
When I returned home, I continued to observe and write about beauty; how I wanted to discover, uncover, and share beautiful women that were beautiful because of how they met their challenges and carried their experiences. I set out on a mission of a lifetime. The Beautiful Women Project has become, not only a documentary photography exhibition, but opportunities for women and men to come together to discuss beauty and make real changes in their lives.
Five years later, I am returning to Italy. In previous posts I have written about writing down your life experiences and in moments of self doubt, darkness, and strength going back and reading through your entries to see how far you have come. Reading your life's journey in order to EXPERIENCE your own beauty. So, to mark this five year milestone, with strength and beauty shining through me, I am going back to the beach in Massa to experience my beauty. I know how far I have come in five years. With pen, paper, cameras, and hopefully a good internet connection, I am going to share my observations on beauty from the place it all began.
Going back to the beginning can be as simple as remembering a time in your life when you were truly happy and proud of yourself as a woman. Going back to the beginning can be a quiet moment of reflection and recognition of the woman that you have grown to become today. Going back to the beginning may help you realize that it is time to pack and repack your life luggage - things that you needed to carry with you, even just a few months ago, no longer work for your life today. Going back may mean beginning today to move forward.
Arrivederci!
The Beautiful Women Project began as I sat on the beach in Italy in 2003. My husband is Italian, and we go home every summer to visit our family. This particular summer I was acutely aware that, despite my accomplishments I was not proud of who I was because I was not proud of my body. As I sat under my umbrella, hiding from the world, I began observing all of the women around me on the beach. They were, unlike me, embracing their lives. Swimming, playing, talking with one another, laughing with their families: completely uninhibited by their bodies. They were so beautiful. Their beauty was shining through them, to be shared with all of us around them, for the world to see. I wanted to gain what they had that I did not yet possess. I wanted to know what they knew about true beauty, so that I too could begin embracing life.
When I returned home, I continued to observe and write about beauty; how I wanted to discover, uncover, and share beautiful women that were beautiful because of how they met their challenges and carried their experiences. I set out on a mission of a lifetime. The Beautiful Women Project has become, not only a documentary photography exhibition, but opportunities for women and men to come together to discuss beauty and make real changes in their lives.
Five years later, I am returning to Italy. In previous posts I have written about writing down your life experiences and in moments of self doubt, darkness, and strength going back and reading through your entries to see how far you have come. Reading your life's journey in order to EXPERIENCE your own beauty. So, to mark this five year milestone, with strength and beauty shining through me, I am going back to the beach in Massa to experience my beauty. I know how far I have come in five years. With pen, paper, cameras, and hopefully a good internet connection, I am going to share my observations on beauty from the place it all began.
Going back to the beginning can be as simple as remembering a time in your life when you were truly happy and proud of yourself as a woman. Going back to the beginning can be a quiet moment of reflection and recognition of the woman that you have grown to become today. Going back to the beginning may help you realize that it is time to pack and repack your life luggage - things that you needed to carry with you, even just a few months ago, no longer work for your life today. Going back may mean beginning today to move forward.
Arrivederci!
Monday, July 7, 2008
Beauty and the Bathing Suit
So I am at the gym taking a strength training class and the instructor shares with us that she is going on vacation next week and needs to go bathing suit shopping. As the twenty of us are hoping that she isn't losing count - she is sharing with us her fear of entering the dreaded dressing room with the bad flourescent lighting and four mirrors. This woman of great character and physical strength, a mother of four children - including a set of twin teenage daughters, a cancer survivor, a respected boys' hockey team strength training coach, a motivator for those who attend her classes, a world traveler, and great friend with a killer sense of humor. She is all of these things PLUS another beautiful amazing woman was being taken down by ... a bathing suit.
This post is for Karen and all women out there who feel good about themselves until they have to try on or wear a bathing suit. Here are The Beautiful Women Project's tips on how to feel beautiful all summer long.
1. Be confident. Before you go shopping or put the bathing suit on for the first day of the season make a list of things that you really like about yourself. There is nothing wrong with boosting your own self confidence. The way that you feel about yourself does affect the way that you view yourself when looking in the mirror.
2. Surround yourself with the people that already like you for who you are not what you look like. Go shopping with your friends - make it a girls day out. You know that your best girlfriends will tell you what makes you look amazing and what you should leave behind in the dressing room. This will also boost your confidence the first time you wear your bathing suit - you already know that you have the support of those that matter the most.
3. Choose a bathing suit that makes you comfortable, not self conscious. Whether it is a full piece, bikini, or shorts and a t-shirt – put on whatever allows you to have fun. It is about embracing life not hiding out while life passes you by.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others. Whether you are in your backyard with friends and family, a community pool, or beach don't look at other women's body parts and see how you match up. Wishing that you look like an ideal that may not be realistic for your body type is not healthy mentally, emotionally, and especially physically. Recognize that you are unique and that is what makes you beautiful. If you want to make changes to your physical body, discuss these ideas with your physician who will help you set and achieve realistic goals.
5. Participate in activities that you enjoy. Build sandcastles, play volleyball, ride the surf, or lose yourself in a good book. The summer is for relaxing. If you are anxious, shifting your focus onto things that you really enjoy will help you forget about your insecurities and allow you to enjoy yoru day, weekend, or vacation.
More than anything else, remember that the bathing suit is a piece of clothing; material sewn together to wear while swimming. It can't hurt you. Don't let it hurt you.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Beauty From a Teen's Perspective
Recently, The Beautiful Women Project opened The Girls Summit for a branch of Girls Inc. Close to one hundred girls came together to spend the day celebrating themselves and what makes girls reach for the sky. The definition of a summit is a conference of the highest diplomatic level. These girls were all diplomats - representing their schools, friends, and peers all over the country. Their ears were their to listen to new ideas and their voices were speaking the truths of their generation.
I opened the program by asking the girls to share their definitions of beauty. Their answers were honest and to the point:
"Beauty is being pretty."
"Beauty is being pretty and popular."
"Beauty is skinny and perfect skin."
"...skinny, tan, great teeth, gorgeous hair."
"Beauty is what you look like on the outside."
Was I surprised by these definitions. Unfortunately, I was not. Today's teen girls are bombarded with so many messages of what defines a woman's beauty that it is difficult to filter fact from fiction. We know where the messages are coming from, but how do we help girls realize that there is so much more to beauty than their exterior appearance?
Presenting them with alternative images and role models of beauty is a start. Teen girls need to be reminded that role models are not just women that they see in magazines, television shows, or the big screen. If they are going to emulate those women, which we know that they are, let's take a moment out of our days to sit with our daughters and point out, or learn about together, these women's accomplishments outside of their appearance on the glossy pages or the silver screen. I bet that both of you will be surprised by what you learn.
Providing teenage girls with experiences that allow them to feel beautiful that have nothing to do with their physicality. Helping them pass a test or a course in school that may seem at the time, insurmountable. Learning how to drive a car with mom as the driving instructor. Beginning a new hobby together - painting, photography, tennis, surfing, something that both parent and teen are doing for the first time. These experiences provide a sense of accomplishment and self worth that go beyond a person's appearance.
Helping them achieve a positive body image - loving who they are and those around them because of who they are, not because of what they look like or their material possessions. Sharing with your teen things about them that you like and respect. Respect is something that we don't often associate with beauty, but their is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of respecting another for how they carry themselves in their lifetime.
I am happy to share with you some of the definitions that I received that recognized that their is more to beauty than a young woman's physical appearance:
"Beauty is being a good person inside and being yourself."
"Beauty is ... just being who you are."
"Beauty is having confidence in yourself."
"Beauty is the way that you feel about yourself."
I know that together, we will continue to help women recognize that their beauty is the sum of their life experiences. The Beautiful Women Project is dedicated to continuing our work with women, we are making a difference.
I opened the program by asking the girls to share their definitions of beauty. Their answers were honest and to the point:
"Beauty is being pretty."
"Beauty is being pretty and popular."
"Beauty is skinny and perfect skin."
"...skinny, tan, great teeth, gorgeous hair."
"Beauty is what you look like on the outside."
Was I surprised by these definitions. Unfortunately, I was not. Today's teen girls are bombarded with so many messages of what defines a woman's beauty that it is difficult to filter fact from fiction. We know where the messages are coming from, but how do we help girls realize that there is so much more to beauty than their exterior appearance?
Presenting them with alternative images and role models of beauty is a start. Teen girls need to be reminded that role models are not just women that they see in magazines, television shows, or the big screen. If they are going to emulate those women, which we know that they are, let's take a moment out of our days to sit with our daughters and point out, or learn about together, these women's accomplishments outside of their appearance on the glossy pages or the silver screen. I bet that both of you will be surprised by what you learn.
Providing teenage girls with experiences that allow them to feel beautiful that have nothing to do with their physicality. Helping them pass a test or a course in school that may seem at the time, insurmountable. Learning how to drive a car with mom as the driving instructor. Beginning a new hobby together - painting, photography, tennis, surfing, something that both parent and teen are doing for the first time. These experiences provide a sense of accomplishment and self worth that go beyond a person's appearance.
Helping them achieve a positive body image - loving who they are and those around them because of who they are, not because of what they look like or their material possessions. Sharing with your teen things about them that you like and respect. Respect is something that we don't often associate with beauty, but their is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of respecting another for how they carry themselves in their lifetime.
I am happy to share with you some of the definitions that I received that recognized that their is more to beauty than a young woman's physical appearance:
"Beauty is being a good person inside and being yourself."
"Beauty is ... just being who you are."
"Beauty is having confidence in yourself."
"Beauty is the way that you feel about yourself."
I know that together, we will continue to help women recognize that their beauty is the sum of their life experiences. The Beautiful Women Project is dedicated to continuing our work with women, we are making a difference.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Experience Your Beauty
As the creator of The Beautiful Women Project and author of Beautiful Women Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills, I have had the privilege of working with, speaking in front of, and listening to women at all stages of life over the past three years. I have found that when it comes to body image and self esteem, it doesn't matter if a woman is fourteen or forty - a woman can be told she is beautiful a million times by others, but unless she experiences her own beauty all of the talking is just ... talk.
How does a woman exprience her own beauty? By recognizing that beauty is the sum of who you are and your life experiences. I speak from experience - despite my own accomplishments I was not proud of myself because I was not proud of my body. It has taken years, but I finally feel my own beauty. It is a process, getting to know who you are, what you like about yourself, discovering your strengths and weaknesses, embracing change, and recognizing that physicality is only a small part of who you are as a woman.
It is not easy. It gets confusing. It takes time. Unfortunately, we are bombarded with images and ideas everyday that work against us. Shampoos, moisturizers, acne washes, clothes, purses, shoes, diets...the images and the companies tell us that they will make us beautiful. These "things" are out there, but no one needs to buy anything to make them beautiful, at the very least they should only be looked upon as a way to enhance what you already own - BEAUTY.
By embracing what is most wonderful about being a woman we can navigate our way through the maze of product placements, "real" models, and reality television. Discussion and sharing are vital - we find out that we are not alone in our struggle to feel good about ourselves, and begin accepting ourselves for who we are as women. I recently did a program with seventh grade girls and not only did they share their definitions of beauty, but also their fears and questions they had about their feelings and friendships. I know that because of our frank and open discussion the ideas that they held about beauty and their relationship with their own beauty, changed for the better.
Take a moment to embrace the best parts of yourself. Share your thoughts, fears, and questions with a friend or daughter. Experience your beauty.
How does a woman exprience her own beauty? By recognizing that beauty is the sum of who you are and your life experiences. I speak from experience - despite my own accomplishments I was not proud of myself because I was not proud of my body. It has taken years, but I finally feel my own beauty. It is a process, getting to know who you are, what you like about yourself, discovering your strengths and weaknesses, embracing change, and recognizing that physicality is only a small part of who you are as a woman.
It is not easy. It gets confusing. It takes time. Unfortunately, we are bombarded with images and ideas everyday that work against us. Shampoos, moisturizers, acne washes, clothes, purses, shoes, diets...the images and the companies tell us that they will make us beautiful. These "things" are out there, but no one needs to buy anything to make them beautiful, at the very least they should only be looked upon as a way to enhance what you already own - BEAUTY.
By embracing what is most wonderful about being a woman we can navigate our way through the maze of product placements, "real" models, and reality television. Discussion and sharing are vital - we find out that we are not alone in our struggle to feel good about ourselves, and begin accepting ourselves for who we are as women. I recently did a program with seventh grade girls and not only did they share their definitions of beauty, but also their fears and questions they had about their feelings and friendships. I know that because of our frank and open discussion the ideas that they held about beauty and their relationship with their own beauty, changed for the better.
Take a moment to embrace the best parts of yourself. Share your thoughts, fears, and questions with a friend or daughter. Experience your beauty.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
How Do I Find the Beauty Within Myself?
I was shopping for shoes yesterday, when I woman commented to me, "I always wanted to be able to wear high heels. I am already six feet and they just didn't work for me." My immediate reply was, "I always wanted to be tall like you, that is why I am buying shoes with such high heels!" It just goes to show that it is hard to accept our own beauty and to look at our unique qualities as just that, qualities. Beauty is not something that we have to chase after, it is already of part of who we are as individuals. So how do we find, accept, and share with the world the beauty that lies within all of us?
The first step is to just look in the mirror and smile back at the reflection staring back at us. Self acceptance is the first, and sometimes hardest part of finding our own beauty. It is something that I work on everyday. Yes, we have our good days and not so good days: great hair, but puffy eyes; great skin, but our rear ends don't look so good in those pants. The combinations of good/bad are endless, and the odds of good/good/good occurring in our own eyes is very small. By changing the way that you view yourself will help you change the way that you think of yourself. Make it simple: when you look in the mirror, instead of putting yourself physical self under a magnification lamp, ask yourself these kind of close-up questions: Do I like the individual looking back from the mirror? Do I respect the woman in front of me? Can I be proud of the way this person conducts their life? If you answer yes to any of your own questions, you are looking at a beautiful woman.
If you are unable to answer any of those questions in a positive manner, take a moment and reflect on what you can do in your own life so you will like, respect, and be proud of yourself. Empower yourself, be an agent for positive change in your life.
Accepting our beauty is as simple as recognizing that physical beauty is only a part of who you are as a beautiful woman, it is not all of who you are as a beautiful woman. I am not six foot tall, but that doesn't mean that I am not beautiful at five foot tall. Another way of accepting our own beauty is to say thank you to compliments that you receive, whether it is about your appearance or an accomplishment. Feeling good about ourselves, accepting our selves, at any given moment of any given day, is an imporant key to accepting the beauty that lies within.
And sharing, how do we share the beauty that lies within? Allowing our experiences to shine through us for the world to experience. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Tell a colleague that they look nice. Tell a friend that you were touched by them. Hug someone. Do not hide from the world, share yourself with all of those around you.
Uncovering, accepting, and sharing your light, love, passion...yourself is the most wonderful experience. When it happens, you will ulimately uncover, discover, and recover the beauty that has always been a part of you.
The first step is to just look in the mirror and smile back at the reflection staring back at us. Self acceptance is the first, and sometimes hardest part of finding our own beauty. It is something that I work on everyday. Yes, we have our good days and not so good days: great hair, but puffy eyes; great skin, but our rear ends don't look so good in those pants. The combinations of good/bad are endless, and the odds of good/good/good occurring in our own eyes is very small. By changing the way that you view yourself will help you change the way that you think of yourself. Make it simple: when you look in the mirror, instead of putting yourself physical self under a magnification lamp, ask yourself these kind of close-up questions: Do I like the individual looking back from the mirror? Do I respect the woman in front of me? Can I be proud of the way this person conducts their life? If you answer yes to any of your own questions, you are looking at a beautiful woman.
If you are unable to answer any of those questions in a positive manner, take a moment and reflect on what you can do in your own life so you will like, respect, and be proud of yourself. Empower yourself, be an agent for positive change in your life.
Accepting our beauty is as simple as recognizing that physical beauty is only a part of who you are as a beautiful woman, it is not all of who you are as a beautiful woman. I am not six foot tall, but that doesn't mean that I am not beautiful at five foot tall. Another way of accepting our own beauty is to say thank you to compliments that you receive, whether it is about your appearance or an accomplishment. Feeling good about ourselves, accepting our selves, at any given moment of any given day, is an imporant key to accepting the beauty that lies within.
And sharing, how do we share the beauty that lies within? Allowing our experiences to shine through us for the world to experience. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Tell a colleague that they look nice. Tell a friend that you were touched by them. Hug someone. Do not hide from the world, share yourself with all of those around you.
Uncovering, accepting, and sharing your light, love, passion...yourself is the most wonderful experience. When it happens, you will ulimately uncover, discover, and recover the beauty that has always been a part of you.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Redefining Beauty
My goal in creating The Beautiful Women Project was to foster a very public discussion of the definition of beauty. It has been stated time and time again in this blog, The Beautiful Women Project definition of beauty is simple, yet powerful: it is the sum of a woman's life experiences that make her beautiful.
Everyday I read articles in print and online about body image, clothing, workplace issues, gender in government, young women and eating disorders, mother's trying to help their daughters, women trying to find their place in the world...each subject touches upon the same issue: no one is buying into society's current definition and vision of beauty. So if we are not buying into it, what are we doing about changing it?
For our part, The Beautiful Women Project continues to travel to communities throughout the country raising awareness that beauty comes in many different shapes and forms. These women are role models for us all reminding us that beauty surrounds us every single day. From the very beginning I believed that through the images and stories in Beautiful Women if just one person could view an image and/or read at least one story and no longer feel alone, weird, or isolated in their own life experiences...if I just touched someone in a way that they giggled, shed a tear of joy or sadness...thought of a sister, mother, aunt, or friend...if someone just looked at another a little differently after experiencing Beautiful Women...I had had done something about changing society's definition of beauty. I am so proud to say that I know that has happend at our exhibitions. This is why we work so hard to bring the exhibition to communities. This is why we published Beautiful Women...Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills so we can touch those that cannot view the exhibtion in person. That is why we began this blog, to foster discussion amongst like minded people, and those that come from a different perspective in order to initiate a new kind of communication. That is how change takes place - opening up and sharing thoughts and perspectives in a respectful space.
Please help us continue our mission by contacting The Beautiful Women Project so we can bring the exhibition to your community. Speak up on the blog - share your thoughts with us and others about redefining beauty. It takes just one spark to light a fire - your thought, idea, or vision just may be the one that spreads like wildfire. Share It.
Everyday I read articles in print and online about body image, clothing, workplace issues, gender in government, young women and eating disorders, mother's trying to help their daughters, women trying to find their place in the world...each subject touches upon the same issue: no one is buying into society's current definition and vision of beauty. So if we are not buying into it, what are we doing about changing it?
For our part, The Beautiful Women Project continues to travel to communities throughout the country raising awareness that beauty comes in many different shapes and forms. These women are role models for us all reminding us that beauty surrounds us every single day. From the very beginning I believed that through the images and stories in Beautiful Women if just one person could view an image and/or read at least one story and no longer feel alone, weird, or isolated in their own life experiences...if I just touched someone in a way that they giggled, shed a tear of joy or sadness...thought of a sister, mother, aunt, or friend...if someone just looked at another a little differently after experiencing Beautiful Women...I had had done something about changing society's definition of beauty. I am so proud to say that I know that has happend at our exhibitions. This is why we work so hard to bring the exhibition to communities. This is why we published Beautiful Women...Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills so we can touch those that cannot view the exhibtion in person. That is why we began this blog, to foster discussion amongst like minded people, and those that come from a different perspective in order to initiate a new kind of communication. That is how change takes place - opening up and sharing thoughts and perspectives in a respectful space.
Please help us continue our mission by contacting The Beautiful Women Project so we can bring the exhibition to your community. Speak up on the blog - share your thoughts with us and others about redefining beauty. It takes just one spark to light a fire - your thought, idea, or vision just may be the one that spreads like wildfire. Share It.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Spring Into Your Beauty
Spring has arrived, and it is a great time of year for defining - and redefining - who we are as women. The Beautiful Women Project is dedicated to challenging the traditional definition of beauty and asking everyone to take a moment and ask themselves, "what is my personal definition of beauty?" Our definition is simple, yet powerful: Beauty is the sum of a woman's life experiences.
The freckles on the cheeks that appear in the summer are reflections of days spent outside having lunch with friends, walking your dog, playing with your children. The lines around your mouth are from laughing at bad jokes, smiling for countless pictures, a constant movement you do with your mouth when you are nervous. The curves that you own, that may have not been there when you were a young girl, are testament to your development and metamorphosis as a woman. And the glow that comes forth from you when you enter a room...that is your true beauty, those are your experiences shining through you for the world to see.
So with spring upon us, take a moment and define - or redefine - your beauty. Think about who you are and what makes you most proud of the woman that you are today. Ask yourself what do I want to do next with my life? Where do I want to be next week, next month, next spring? The experiences that you have along the way to accomplishing the goals that you set for yourself, these are your beauty defining moments. Some will be wonderful, some will be difficult and trying. Just remember that these experiences are your true beauty.
The freckles on the cheeks that appear in the summer are reflections of days spent outside having lunch with friends, walking your dog, playing with your children. The lines around your mouth are from laughing at bad jokes, smiling for countless pictures, a constant movement you do with your mouth when you are nervous. The curves that you own, that may have not been there when you were a young girl, are testament to your development and metamorphosis as a woman. And the glow that comes forth from you when you enter a room...that is your true beauty, those are your experiences shining through you for the world to see.
So with spring upon us, take a moment and define - or redefine - your beauty. Think about who you are and what makes you most proud of the woman that you are today. Ask yourself what do I want to do next with my life? Where do I want to be next week, next month, next spring? The experiences that you have along the way to accomplishing the goals that you set for yourself, these are your beauty defining moments. Some will be wonderful, some will be difficult and trying. Just remember that these experiences are your true beauty.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Back from A Beauty Break
The Beautiful Women Project has not had a new posting for two weeks, to be honest every once in a while I think that we can all use a "beauty break". Everyday I read speak to people about beauty and body image issues, read hundreds of articles in newspapers in magazines from around the world, scan internet blogs and listen to radio programs all having something to do with beauty, body image and women's issues. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but there comes a point where we all need to take a step back and give ourselves space and time. With so much sharing going on, it is important to take time to process what we take in - and decide what is right for each of us as individuals. The most wonderful thing about beauty is that it is unique, personal, the sum of our life experiences - and what is right for one is not right for everyone.
Beauty is exhausting. Finding ourselves is a process. Transformation takes patience. At The Beautiful Women Project we are really talking about transforming how as individuals define our own beauty not only ourselves, but also how society defines beauty. The folktale about the tortoise and the hare is tried and true - slow and steady wins the race. There is no quick fix for finding our inner beauty or for redefining how we see ourselves and others. Yet, with time and an open mind it is our belief that it will happen in the most wonderful and positive of ways.
Beauty is exhausting. Finding ourselves is a process. Transformation takes patience. At The Beautiful Women Project we are really talking about transforming how as individuals define our own beauty not only ourselves, but also how society defines beauty. The folktale about the tortoise and the hare is tried and true - slow and steady wins the race. There is no quick fix for finding our inner beauty or for redefining how we see ourselves and others. Yet, with time and an open mind it is our belief that it will happen in the most wonderful and positive of ways.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I Am Beautiful...No Matter What Anyone Says
I was recently asked a simple question: Why do you think women especially are so wrapped up in their outer-physical appearance? I wish that there was a simple answer.
Ultimately, I think that women like to feel beautiful. What we need to do is take a moment and realize that there is a difference between feeling beautiful and buying into what others are showing us should be considered beautiful.
From the time that we are little girls being pretty has had something to do with our clothes, hair, shoes. It is hard to change this as a little girl grows into a teenager and then a woman who is bombarded with images of beauty and perfection.
The media presents an attainable version of perfection: any woman can achieve a particular look, weight, or type of skin as long as you buy their products. What women need to remember is that these companies are in the business of selling products and would anyone buy their products if they gave them acne, fly-aways, made them gain weight, or make wrinkles appear instead of disappear?
The Beautiful Women Project and book Beautiful Women is a reminder that we are already beautiful. All of the products and programs on the market are there to enhance our beauty, not magically bring it out. Beauty comes from within, you already own it! We are given a body, skin, and a set of circumstances that we weave together to make a life for ourselves. Let’s start focusing on who we are and being proud of that woman. If you want to change things, go ahead – but remember to reflect on why you want to make those changes and be proud of the experiences that will come as a result of your choice to change.
Ultimately, I think that women like to feel beautiful. What we need to do is take a moment and realize that there is a difference between feeling beautiful and buying into what others are showing us should be considered beautiful.
From the time that we are little girls being pretty has had something to do with our clothes, hair, shoes. It is hard to change this as a little girl grows into a teenager and then a woman who is bombarded with images of beauty and perfection.
The media presents an attainable version of perfection: any woman can achieve a particular look, weight, or type of skin as long as you buy their products. What women need to remember is that these companies are in the business of selling products and would anyone buy their products if they gave them acne, fly-aways, made them gain weight, or make wrinkles appear instead of disappear?
The Beautiful Women Project and book Beautiful Women is a reminder that we are already beautiful. All of the products and programs on the market are there to enhance our beauty, not magically bring it out. Beauty comes from within, you already own it! We are given a body, skin, and a set of circumstances that we weave together to make a life for ourselves. Let’s start focusing on who we are and being proud of that woman. If you want to change things, go ahead – but remember to reflect on why you want to make those changes and be proud of the experiences that will come as a result of your choice to change.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Why Are So Many of Us Women Afraid of our Own Shadows?
Sunday was Groundhog Day - and the powers that be say that if the groundhog sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter. Why is the groundhog afraid of his own shadow? Better yet, why are so many of us women afraid of own shadows?
A shadow is simply a silhouette of our being. Silhouette - such a beautiful word. I remember as a child that as part of a class project the teacher would call us up one by one and outline our sihouettes for us. We would then cut them out, paste them on another sheet of paper and give them as presents to our mothers for Mother's Day. Our shadows were presents - gifts.
Our shadows are still gifts. They show us the curves that define our bodies, the wisps of hair that frame our faces, the length of our legs that carry us everyday. Our shadows only define our physical beings, they don't define who we are as individuals. We are responsible for the type of people that we want to be in this lifetime. When I look at my shadow I need to reflect upon the type of wife, mother, daughter, friend, and member of my community that I want to be, not the fact that I look stubby because I am five foot three and all of the flyaways are pronounced on the cement below me. Whenever I think of these things when I see my shadow - I smile, this is what I am most proud of and the rest melts away even for only a moment.
Next time you see your shadow, don't be afraid. Stop and take a moment to look at your body and become your shadow's friend. Don't run from who you are - create who you want to be.
A shadow is simply a silhouette of our being. Silhouette - such a beautiful word. I remember as a child that as part of a class project the teacher would call us up one by one and outline our sihouettes for us. We would then cut them out, paste them on another sheet of paper and give them as presents to our mothers for Mother's Day. Our shadows were presents - gifts.
Our shadows are still gifts. They show us the curves that define our bodies, the wisps of hair that frame our faces, the length of our legs that carry us everyday. Our shadows only define our physical beings, they don't define who we are as individuals. We are responsible for the type of people that we want to be in this lifetime. When I look at my shadow I need to reflect upon the type of wife, mother, daughter, friend, and member of my community that I want to be, not the fact that I look stubby because I am five foot three and all of the flyaways are pronounced on the cement below me. Whenever I think of these things when I see my shadow - I smile, this is what I am most proud of and the rest melts away even for only a moment.
Next time you see your shadow, don't be afraid. Stop and take a moment to look at your body and become your shadow's friend. Don't run from who you are - create who you want to be.
True Self, True Beauty
I love the days that The Beautiful Women Project women go on a field trip. It is an opportunity for me to meet women, hear their stories, and reaffirm what I believed in my heart when I created this project: we are not alone in our journey. So, that leads me to the question: if we are not alone on our journeys why does it feel so lonely at times?
Sharing our thoughts and experiences is sometimes difficult to do with family and friends. We are so afraid of being judged for being who we really are that we choose to isolate ourselves rather than of share what may be the best part of ourselves. It is easier to share ourselves with strangers - whether it be at an exhibition or through the internet, because strangers don't have any expectations for who we are suppose to be - they just accept us for who we present to them in that moment. Usually, that is our truest selves. And that is when we are most beautiful.
It is really scary to show a side of yourself that you don't think others will accept, I know I have been there myself. I bet what you will find is one of two things: (1) people already had a sense about who you really were and have been waiting for your revelation and/or (2) they respect you for being true to yourself.
It is here that I come back to my premise: beauty shines from within and when you are true to yourself your light shines brighter and brighter. It is the sum of your life experiences that makes you beautiful and the more that you share those experiences, share your true self, you will find that you are not alone on your journey. There are so many other women who are experiencing and feeling the same things you are in your life. The community of women is wonderful, welcoming, and supportive. Join us in sharing your true selves, your true beauty.
Sharing our thoughts and experiences is sometimes difficult to do with family and friends. We are so afraid of being judged for being who we really are that we choose to isolate ourselves rather than of share what may be the best part of ourselves. It is easier to share ourselves with strangers - whether it be at an exhibition or through the internet, because strangers don't have any expectations for who we are suppose to be - they just accept us for who we present to them in that moment. Usually, that is our truest selves. And that is when we are most beautiful.
It is really scary to show a side of yourself that you don't think others will accept, I know I have been there myself. I bet what you will find is one of two things: (1) people already had a sense about who you really were and have been waiting for your revelation and/or (2) they respect you for being true to yourself.
It is here that I come back to my premise: beauty shines from within and when you are true to yourself your light shines brighter and brighter. It is the sum of your life experiences that makes you beautiful and the more that you share those experiences, share your true self, you will find that you are not alone on your journey. There are so many other women who are experiencing and feeling the same things you are in your life. The community of women is wonderful, welcoming, and supportive. Join us in sharing your true selves, your true beauty.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Beauty is a Beast...We Can Tame
Everyday I receive alerts about hundreds of articles and blogs written around the world that focus on women, beauty, and body image. When I began the Beautiful Women Project I had no idea that there were thousands upon thousands of women going through the same thing-trying to find peace, love and happiness in their own skin.
It is easy to place blame on the media, advertisers, Hollywood, even Miss America. Yet, in doing so, we become victims of circumstances that we do not control. I won't speak for women everywhere, but I know that I don't want to be considered a victim anymore. I want to look in the mirror and smile back at myself because I love the person whose reflection I see in the mirror- not to check for lipstick on my teeth. And there are days that this does happen - they are the best days of my life. I am working on making everyday I day I love what I see.
I am learning that it comes down to this...it doesn't matter what the media, advertisers, Hollywood, or the people at the Miss America Pageant think about beauty. All that matters is what we as women think about ourselves. When you have a moment of quiet and think about the person that you are, what makes you smile? For me, it is knowing that I live an honest life. This is very important to me when, especially in a society today that makes it so easy to lie. I tell people my age, height and weight - I am not ashamed. I have grey hair that I color - HA! I don't wash my hair everyday - and not because they say that it is better for your hair. These are the parts of me that make me beautiful and I refuse to be ashamed of my body. There will always be things about physicality that we will want to change throughout our lifetime. So Change Them, but don't lose sight of the fact that beauty comes from within - five pounds heavier or lighter, greys or no greys, age spots or wrinkles - they are a part of who we are as women, not who we are as women.
It is easy to place blame on the media, advertisers, Hollywood, even Miss America. Yet, in doing so, we become victims of circumstances that we do not control. I won't speak for women everywhere, but I know that I don't want to be considered a victim anymore. I want to look in the mirror and smile back at myself because I love the person whose reflection I see in the mirror- not to check for lipstick on my teeth. And there are days that this does happen - they are the best days of my life. I am working on making everyday I day I love what I see.
I am learning that it comes down to this...it doesn't matter what the media, advertisers, Hollywood, or the people at the Miss America Pageant think about beauty. All that matters is what we as women think about ourselves. When you have a moment of quiet and think about the person that you are, what makes you smile? For me, it is knowing that I live an honest life. This is very important to me when, especially in a society today that makes it so easy to lie. I tell people my age, height and weight - I am not ashamed. I have grey hair that I color - HA! I don't wash my hair everyday - and not because they say that it is better for your hair. These are the parts of me that make me beautiful and I refuse to be ashamed of my body. There will always be things about physicality that we will want to change throughout our lifetime. So Change Them, but don't lose sight of the fact that beauty comes from within - five pounds heavier or lighter, greys or no greys, age spots or wrinkles - they are a part of who we are as women, not who we are as women.
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