As the creator of The Beautiful Women Project and author of Beautiful Women Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills, I have had the privilege of working with, speaking in front of, and listening to women at all stages of life over the past three years. I have found that when it comes to body image and self esteem, it doesn't matter if a woman is fourteen or forty - a woman can be told she is beautiful a million times by others, but unless she experiences her own beauty all of the talking is just ... talk.
How does a woman exprience her own beauty? By recognizing that beauty is the sum of who you are and your life experiences. I speak from experience - despite my own accomplishments I was not proud of myself because I was not proud of my body. It has taken years, but I finally feel my own beauty. It is a process, getting to know who you are, what you like about yourself, discovering your strengths and weaknesses, embracing change, and recognizing that physicality is only a small part of who you are as a woman.
It is not easy. It gets confusing. It takes time. Unfortunately, we are bombarded with images and ideas everyday that work against us. Shampoos, moisturizers, acne washes, clothes, purses, shoes, diets...the images and the companies tell us that they will make us beautiful. These "things" are out there, but no one needs to buy anything to make them beautiful, at the very least they should only be looked upon as a way to enhance what you already own - BEAUTY.
By embracing what is most wonderful about being a woman we can navigate our way through the maze of product placements, "real" models, and reality television. Discussion and sharing are vital - we find out that we are not alone in our struggle to feel good about ourselves, and begin accepting ourselves for who we are as women. I recently did a program with seventh grade girls and not only did they share their definitions of beauty, but also their fears and questions they had about their feelings and friendships. I know that because of our frank and open discussion the ideas that they held about beauty and their relationship with their own beauty, changed for the better.
Take a moment to embrace the best parts of yourself. Share your thoughts, fears, and questions with a friend or daughter. Experience your beauty.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Beautiful Women...Meet The Genuine Men
This weekend The Beautiful Women Project launched its "brother" project, The Genuine Men Project (www.thegenuinemen.com). These travelling exhibitions have identical messages: we need to begin defining individuals by the sum of their life experiences.
The Genuine Men Project focuses on the life experiences of thirty five men - ordinary fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, and neighbors that we encounter everyday. As the women of Beautiful Women... Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills attempts to redefine society's view of women and beauty, the men portrayed in Genuine Men...Journeys in Stories and Stills redefine what it is to be a role model by showing that what makes us strong is the way we approach, deal with, and then carry our challenges and life experiences. Their stories represent the type of men that others will want to emulate in their own life long journeys.
I began this project at the urging of my oldest son. As I completed The Beautiful Women Project, he marched in my office and declared, "You know mom, it isn't fair that you do girls and you don't do boys." He was absolutely correct. There is a great deal that we can all learn from the stories of men. I encourage you to take a moment to visit The Genuine Men Project web site and take another step and read the stories of these amazing men in the project's companion book, Genuine Men...Journeys in Stories and Stills (Bridgeway Books, 2008).
The Genuine Men Project focuses on the life experiences of thirty five men - ordinary fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, and neighbors that we encounter everyday. As the women of Beautiful Women... Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills attempts to redefine society's view of women and beauty, the men portrayed in Genuine Men...Journeys in Stories and Stills redefine what it is to be a role model by showing that what makes us strong is the way we approach, deal with, and then carry our challenges and life experiences. Their stories represent the type of men that others will want to emulate in their own life long journeys.
I began this project at the urging of my oldest son. As I completed The Beautiful Women Project, he marched in my office and declared, "You know mom, it isn't fair that you do girls and you don't do boys." He was absolutely correct. There is a great deal that we can all learn from the stories of men. I encourage you to take a moment to visit The Genuine Men Project web site and take another step and read the stories of these amazing men in the project's companion book, Genuine Men...Journeys in Stories and Stills (Bridgeway Books, 2008).
Sunday, May 4, 2008
How Do I Find the Beauty Within Myself?
I was shopping for shoes yesterday, when I woman commented to me, "I always wanted to be able to wear high heels. I am already six feet and they just didn't work for me." My immediate reply was, "I always wanted to be tall like you, that is why I am buying shoes with such high heels!" It just goes to show that it is hard to accept our own beauty and to look at our unique qualities as just that, qualities. Beauty is not something that we have to chase after, it is already of part of who we are as individuals. So how do we find, accept, and share with the world the beauty that lies within all of us?
The first step is to just look in the mirror and smile back at the reflection staring back at us. Self acceptance is the first, and sometimes hardest part of finding our own beauty. It is something that I work on everyday. Yes, we have our good days and not so good days: great hair, but puffy eyes; great skin, but our rear ends don't look so good in those pants. The combinations of good/bad are endless, and the odds of good/good/good occurring in our own eyes is very small. By changing the way that you view yourself will help you change the way that you think of yourself. Make it simple: when you look in the mirror, instead of putting yourself physical self under a magnification lamp, ask yourself these kind of close-up questions: Do I like the individual looking back from the mirror? Do I respect the woman in front of me? Can I be proud of the way this person conducts their life? If you answer yes to any of your own questions, you are looking at a beautiful woman.
If you are unable to answer any of those questions in a positive manner, take a moment and reflect on what you can do in your own life so you will like, respect, and be proud of yourself. Empower yourself, be an agent for positive change in your life.
Accepting our beauty is as simple as recognizing that physical beauty is only a part of who you are as a beautiful woman, it is not all of who you are as a beautiful woman. I am not six foot tall, but that doesn't mean that I am not beautiful at five foot tall. Another way of accepting our own beauty is to say thank you to compliments that you receive, whether it is about your appearance or an accomplishment. Feeling good about ourselves, accepting our selves, at any given moment of any given day, is an imporant key to accepting the beauty that lies within.
And sharing, how do we share the beauty that lies within? Allowing our experiences to shine through us for the world to experience. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Tell a colleague that they look nice. Tell a friend that you were touched by them. Hug someone. Do not hide from the world, share yourself with all of those around you.
Uncovering, accepting, and sharing your light, love, passion...yourself is the most wonderful experience. When it happens, you will ulimately uncover, discover, and recover the beauty that has always been a part of you.
The first step is to just look in the mirror and smile back at the reflection staring back at us. Self acceptance is the first, and sometimes hardest part of finding our own beauty. It is something that I work on everyday. Yes, we have our good days and not so good days: great hair, but puffy eyes; great skin, but our rear ends don't look so good in those pants. The combinations of good/bad are endless, and the odds of good/good/good occurring in our own eyes is very small. By changing the way that you view yourself will help you change the way that you think of yourself. Make it simple: when you look in the mirror, instead of putting yourself physical self under a magnification lamp, ask yourself these kind of close-up questions: Do I like the individual looking back from the mirror? Do I respect the woman in front of me? Can I be proud of the way this person conducts their life? If you answer yes to any of your own questions, you are looking at a beautiful woman.
If you are unable to answer any of those questions in a positive manner, take a moment and reflect on what you can do in your own life so you will like, respect, and be proud of yourself. Empower yourself, be an agent for positive change in your life.
Accepting our beauty is as simple as recognizing that physical beauty is only a part of who you are as a beautiful woman, it is not all of who you are as a beautiful woman. I am not six foot tall, but that doesn't mean that I am not beautiful at five foot tall. Another way of accepting our own beauty is to say thank you to compliments that you receive, whether it is about your appearance or an accomplishment. Feeling good about ourselves, accepting our selves, at any given moment of any given day, is an imporant key to accepting the beauty that lies within.
And sharing, how do we share the beauty that lies within? Allowing our experiences to shine through us for the world to experience. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Tell a colleague that they look nice. Tell a friend that you were touched by them. Hug someone. Do not hide from the world, share yourself with all of those around you.
Uncovering, accepting, and sharing your light, love, passion...yourself is the most wonderful experience. When it happens, you will ulimately uncover, discover, and recover the beauty that has always been a part of you.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Redefining Beauty
My goal in creating The Beautiful Women Project was to foster a very public discussion of the definition of beauty. It has been stated time and time again in this blog, The Beautiful Women Project definition of beauty is simple, yet powerful: it is the sum of a woman's life experiences that make her beautiful.
Everyday I read articles in print and online about body image, clothing, workplace issues, gender in government, young women and eating disorders, mother's trying to help their daughters, women trying to find their place in the world...each subject touches upon the same issue: no one is buying into society's current definition and vision of beauty. So if we are not buying into it, what are we doing about changing it?
For our part, The Beautiful Women Project continues to travel to communities throughout the country raising awareness that beauty comes in many different shapes and forms. These women are role models for us all reminding us that beauty surrounds us every single day. From the very beginning I believed that through the images and stories in Beautiful Women if just one person could view an image and/or read at least one story and no longer feel alone, weird, or isolated in their own life experiences...if I just touched someone in a way that they giggled, shed a tear of joy or sadness...thought of a sister, mother, aunt, or friend...if someone just looked at another a little differently after experiencing Beautiful Women...I had had done something about changing society's definition of beauty. I am so proud to say that I know that has happend at our exhibitions. This is why we work so hard to bring the exhibition to communities. This is why we published Beautiful Women...Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills so we can touch those that cannot view the exhibtion in person. That is why we began this blog, to foster discussion amongst like minded people, and those that come from a different perspective in order to initiate a new kind of communication. That is how change takes place - opening up and sharing thoughts and perspectives in a respectful space.
Please help us continue our mission by contacting The Beautiful Women Project so we can bring the exhibition to your community. Speak up on the blog - share your thoughts with us and others about redefining beauty. It takes just one spark to light a fire - your thought, idea, or vision just may be the one that spreads like wildfire. Share It.
Everyday I read articles in print and online about body image, clothing, workplace issues, gender in government, young women and eating disorders, mother's trying to help their daughters, women trying to find their place in the world...each subject touches upon the same issue: no one is buying into society's current definition and vision of beauty. So if we are not buying into it, what are we doing about changing it?
For our part, The Beautiful Women Project continues to travel to communities throughout the country raising awareness that beauty comes in many different shapes and forms. These women are role models for us all reminding us that beauty surrounds us every single day. From the very beginning I believed that through the images and stories in Beautiful Women if just one person could view an image and/or read at least one story and no longer feel alone, weird, or isolated in their own life experiences...if I just touched someone in a way that they giggled, shed a tear of joy or sadness...thought of a sister, mother, aunt, or friend...if someone just looked at another a little differently after experiencing Beautiful Women...I had had done something about changing society's definition of beauty. I am so proud to say that I know that has happend at our exhibitions. This is why we work so hard to bring the exhibition to communities. This is why we published Beautiful Women...Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills so we can touch those that cannot view the exhibtion in person. That is why we began this blog, to foster discussion amongst like minded people, and those that come from a different perspective in order to initiate a new kind of communication. That is how change takes place - opening up and sharing thoughts and perspectives in a respectful space.
Please help us continue our mission by contacting The Beautiful Women Project so we can bring the exhibition to your community. Speak up on the blog - share your thoughts with us and others about redefining beauty. It takes just one spark to light a fire - your thought, idea, or vision just may be the one that spreads like wildfire. Share It.
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