Recently, The Beautiful Women Project opened The Girls Summit for a branch of Girls Inc. Close to one hundred girls came together to spend the day celebrating themselves and what makes girls reach for the sky. The definition of a summit is a conference of the highest diplomatic level. These girls were all diplomats - representing their schools, friends, and peers all over the country. Their ears were their to listen to new ideas and their voices were speaking the truths of their generation.
I opened the program by asking the girls to share their definitions of beauty. Their answers were honest and to the point:
"Beauty is being pretty."
"Beauty is being pretty and popular."
"Beauty is skinny and perfect skin."
"...skinny, tan, great teeth, gorgeous hair."
"Beauty is what you look like on the outside."
Was I surprised by these definitions. Unfortunately, I was not. Today's teen girls are bombarded with so many messages of what defines a woman's beauty that it is difficult to filter fact from fiction. We know where the messages are coming from, but how do we help girls realize that there is so much more to beauty than their exterior appearance?
Presenting them with alternative images and role models of beauty is a start. Teen girls need to be reminded that role models are not just women that they see in magazines, television shows, or the big screen. If they are going to emulate those women, which we know that they are, let's take a moment out of our days to sit with our daughters and point out, or learn about together, these women's accomplishments outside of their appearance on the glossy pages or the silver screen. I bet that both of you will be surprised by what you learn.
Providing teenage girls with experiences that allow them to feel beautiful that have nothing to do with their physicality. Helping them pass a test or a course in school that may seem at the time, insurmountable. Learning how to drive a car with mom as the driving instructor. Beginning a new hobby together - painting, photography, tennis, surfing, something that both parent and teen are doing for the first time. These experiences provide a sense of accomplishment and self worth that go beyond a person's appearance.
Helping them achieve a positive body image - loving who they are and those around them because of who they are, not because of what they look like or their material possessions. Sharing with your teen things about them that you like and respect. Respect is something that we don't often associate with beauty, but their is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of respecting another for how they carry themselves in their lifetime.
I am happy to share with you some of the definitions that I received that recognized that their is more to beauty than a young woman's physical appearance:
"Beauty is being a good person inside and being yourself."
"Beauty is ... just being who you are."
"Beauty is having confidence in yourself."
"Beauty is the way that you feel about yourself."
I know that together, we will continue to help women recognize that their beauty is the sum of their life experiences. The Beautiful Women Project is dedicated to continuing our work with women, we are making a difference.
Friday, June 20, 2008
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