What We Have to Show for Our Lives

My cousin called me today in distress. Always a strong and independent woman, she is a mother of three young children, a successful business woman, and a wife of fourteen years. Her marriage is in dire straits, and it is her belief that she will soon be a forty five year old single mother. A child of divorce herself, this is not what she wanted for her life or the lives of her children. Quietly she asked, "For all that I have invested in my life and marriage, what do I have to show for my life ?" Knowing my cousin's nature, she wasn't looking for sympathy, but brutal honesty.

My cousin grew up in a tiny little town on top of a mountain. A tomboy, she found her life's passion in downhill skiing and was chosen to attend a private high school that would take her off her mountain and into a strange and exciting world. A college awarded her a full skiing scholarship and with further development she qualified as an alternate on the US Olympic Ski Team. At any point in her lifetime she could have returned home to work in her family's established business, a business that would have provided her with a very comfortable life. Instead, she chose to strike out on her own. With time, she established not one, not two, but three successful businesses. She always recognized the responsibility she had for the lives of her employees and their families, and when times were tough she would take on additional jobs as a waitress, ski instructor and coach, or respiratory therapist in a local hospital, in order to keep things afloat. Always a mother to her children and wife to her husband, it was her that made sure that they bills were paid, the laundry was completed and the groceries were in the refrigerator and cupboards. The importance of love, family, and friendship - lessons learned on top of her chilhood mountain home, are now passed onto her children. When her father was terminally ill, she was his primary care giver, with him until he took his final breath. Over the years she has created a network of friends that are there for her in times of celebration and support her in her darkest hours, often when family was too far away. There are children that she instructed on the ski slopes that are on race teams across the country or just enjoying the winters with their families year in and year out because of her instruction. There are little babies that have grown into thriving teenagers because she was there for them in the neo-natal unit helping them breath when their little lungs needed assistance. There are three amazing children thriving in the world because of their mother. I believe that she found it hard to believe that she thought for even a moment that she had nothing to show for her life.

Often when posed with the question, "What do I have to show for my life?" we are looking for material, tangible pieces of evidence. The truth be told, the measure of a life isn't how much money has accumulated in a bank account, the number or kind of cars in a garage, the waist or dress size you have hanging in the closet - or the size of your closet for that matter. The answers to the question are quiet similar to the definition of beauty: It is the sum of your life experiences. The answer lies in your life's journey.

We all have things in our lives demonstrate our life's value. Even during the most challenging times, there are amazing things. Find a moment in the next week to recognize all of the wonderful things that you have to show for your lifetime.