Being a Good Friend to Yourself

When it comes to friends, I don't have many, but I have the best. They accept me exactly as I am - a bit scattered at times, usually five minutes late, uncomfortable in large crowds, and often disappearing for weeks at a time with no notice. My friends like me for who I am, flaws and all. They didn't choose to be my friend because of what I look like, the clothes I wear, or the number on my scale.

Friends love us for who we are - not what we look like. It is time we begin to look at the relationship that we have with ourselves in the same way. Why is it so hard to love and accept ourselves for the women that we are today and are striving to be tomorrow? What will it take for women to be good friends to themselves?

With our days jam packed it is easy to overlook the most important person in our lives: ourselves. Like all of our relationships, this one needs work as well, but it is the easiest to overlook. Try to take some time out everyday - or at least twice a week - to nurture the relationship with yourself. It can be as simple as talking to yourself - verbalize your thoughts, fears, and questions in a soft whisper or a full voice in your bedroom, shower, car, or office. Hearing your thoughts out loud often makes them more "real" and not just thoughts and notions in your head. Journal writing is another wonderful way to get in touch, and stay in touch with yourself. When your thoughts, ideas, notions, dreams, and fears are "out there" you have made the choice to make them a priority, perhaps getting over that scary first admission and putting you on the road to dealing with issues and coming up with a solutions. Putting your thoughts and fears out there may also make it easier to talk about your situation with your family, friends, doctor, boss, co-worker - whomever you may need to turn to for support or resolution.

Another way to get to know yourself better is to ask questions. You may be surprised how little you know about the woman that you are in this particular stage of your life. What may seem like a simple question may stumble you: What is your favorite food? What is your biggest challenge? Proudest moment? Wildest dream? For a rainy day, try deeper reflection where you need to answer with more than a single word or sentence: I am most comfortable/uncomfortable...., A person walking down the street would never guess or believe..., When I look in the mirror I see.... Your answers may lead you to make changes, re-set your compass, or make you aware of the goodness and beauty that resides within you.

Taking the time to reflect on who you are will lead to down a wonderful path of self discovery. You will see what others already know about you - why they chose you to be their friend. The greatest way to be a good friend to others is to begin by being a good friend to yourself.