As the creator of The Beautiful Women Project and author of Beautiful Women Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills, I have had the privilege of working with, speaking in front of, and listening to women at all stages of life over the past three years. I have found that when it comes to body image and self esteem, it doesn't matter if a woman is fourteen or forty - a woman can be told she is beautiful a million times by others, but unless she experiences her own beauty all of the talking is just ... talk.
How does a woman exprience her own beauty? By recognizing that beauty is the sum of who you are and your life experiences. I speak from experience - despite my own accomplishments I was not proud of myself because I was not proud of my body. It has taken years, but I finally feel my own beauty. It is a process, getting to know who you are, what you like about yourself, discovering your strengths and weaknesses, embracing change, and recognizing that physicality is only a small part of who you are as a woman.
It is not easy. It gets confusing. It takes time. Unfortunately, we are bombarded with images and ideas everyday that work against us. Shampoos, moisturizers, acne washes, clothes, purses, shoes, diets...the images and the companies tell us that they will make us beautiful. These "things" are out there, but no one needs to buy anything to make them beautiful, at the very least they should only be looked upon as a way to enhance what you already own - BEAUTY.
By embracing what is most wonderful about being a woman we can navigate our way through the maze of product placements, "real" models, and reality television. Discussion and sharing are vital - we find out that we are not alone in our struggle to feel good about ourselves, and begin accepting ourselves for who we are as women. I recently did a program with seventh grade girls and not only did they share their definitions of beauty, but also their fears and questions they had about their feelings and friendships. I know that because of our frank and open discussion the ideas that they held about beauty and their relationship with their own beauty, changed for the better.
Take a moment to embrace the best parts of yourself. Share your thoughts, fears, and questions with a friend or daughter. Experience your beauty.
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Thank you for reminding me...this is the message I will certainly pass on to my daughter. Forget about talking to her about how she's beautiful and how people of all shapes, sizes are colors are beautiful. I need to focus on her personality, her courage and self-confidence, her intelligence and sense of humor...all the things that actually make her beautiful. There's so many resources out there telling you so many different things that it's easy to get lost in the babble and forget the common sense answer lol. Thanks for bringing my train of thought on this topic back to where it should be.
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