What Was Lost Has Now Been Found

It has been many months since I have posted on The Beautiful Women Project site. I would like to thank the many faithful followers that continue to be interested in the our work, despite not posting on the site in recent months. I have decided to pick up where I left off, sharing thoughts and insights, commenting on popular culture, and chiming in on what makes women beautiful.



The truth as to the reason why I stopped writing is quite simple, I lost track of myself in the whirlwind of that which we all call life: work, the responsibilities of being a wife and mother, making sure there was food in the refrigerator, clothes were cleaned, soccer games were watched, homework was done, telephone calls were returned, bills were paid, and the list went on and on and on. I kept up the pace until it all took its toll on me and I simply...broke.

I have taken the past months to practice what I have been preaching - reflecting on who I am as a person, discovering and rediscovering what I really like about myself, opening up the luggage that I have been carrying around and taking out what no longer works for me in order to move forward. In order to have the future that I want I needed to look at what was not working in my life...and let go. Letting go has been the hardest part of the process. Letting go of old thought patterns and relationships has been the most challenging, but necessary in order to embrace the future.

As this blog evolves, my hope is that there will be more sharing of life experiences. It is through sharing that we know that we are not alone in our life's journey. It is my hope that we will have more commenting, and guest bloggers. If you are interested in sharing and idea or writing a weekly pieces, please do not hesitate to contact me through the site.

We are Stronger Than We Give Ourselves Credit For

We all have things that keep us from moving forward with our lives, and it takes strength and courage to move through these experiences. The challenges come in different forms, and arrive in our lives at different stages of our personal development.

"How do I find my place?" "How do I develop a support system of friends that accept and support me for who I am today?" "How do I balance work and family?" "How do I find time for myself?" "Am I strong enough to run 2 miles?" "Am I strong enough to face what is ahead of me?"

Avoiding our challenges is easy, keeping our heads down and continuing on our current paths. Yet, when we do, we keep from moving forward with our lives. We miss out on all of the wonderful things that happen to us on our journey toward our goals. It is often the experiences along the way are often more valuable than our intended endpoint.

The Spirit of Doing NOTHING

There is nothing that hits the nerves of women, especially those who feel as if she they have too much to do and not enough time in the day to do it all, more than seeing a man sitting on the couch watching television or (gasp!) napping as she is cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, or keeping the kids from tearing down the house one brick at a time. The punch line is that the reason she is so aggravated by his actions - or lack of action - is because she feels like she does not have the same PRIVILEGE TO DO NOTHING.

Well, it is time to stop denying ourselves the PRIVILEGE and DO NOTHING. A college psychology professor I recently met gave this assignment to his students years ago. The assignment would take one hour, and they had to make sure that nothing would interfere with this block of time. In this hour they were to do NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING. The purpose of the exercise was for them to experience what could happen if they disengaged from the whirlwind of life and re-engaged with themselves.

What an amazing idea. How often do women take an hour to do NOTHING? The answer is simple: never. There is a mind set that if we stop doing what we do, the house of cards will tumble down. Yet, there is nothing more important than taking time to do something, or in this case, nothing for ourselves. In an hour of contemplation so many amazing things can arise within; ideas can form, anxiety can ease, goals can come back into focus, or it can be time to just have peace of mind.

Find a time in your schedule and block out 1 hour of time. Make it a priority, a meeting, whatever you have to do to make it a full hour where nothing else will infringe upon this time. During the hour you may take a walk or journal, but refrain from speaking with anyone or any outside distractions. The most important element of the exercise is enjoy this one hour of doing NOTHING. Do not feel guilty for taking time out of your life to do rest, relax, and rejuvenate. Or, turn it around and make a weekly or monthly guilty pleasure, it costs you nothing but what a return on your investment!

Putting it into Visual Perspective

The Beautiful Women Project is committed to helping women find the very best of themselves throughout their life's journey. It is easy to get bogged down in the "little" things in life, the things that blur the BIG PICTURE - the things that REALLY MATTER.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Beers

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 beers. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous and resounding "YES!" The professor then produced two beers from under the table and pured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed again.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions - and if everything else was lost, and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else - the "small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first, " he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all of your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend the time with your children. Spend time with your parents."

"Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical check ups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to cleaned the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled and said, "I'm glad that you asked. The beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend."

Take a moment to write down in your journal, sketch it out on paper, jot it on a crumpled piece of paper or napkin - whatever you have on hand. This exercise will provide you with visual perspective. Visual Perspective is like a second pair of eyes, it allows you a moment to step back and see what you have, or would like to have, in your life.

Remember you are the jar, these "objects" are what fill you up and make you whole.

1. The Golf Balls - Who or What are the important things that fill your life? If everything else fell away, and these are all that were left, you would still consider your life full
   
2. The Pebbles - Who or What are the other things in your life?
   
3. The Sand - The "small stuff" that tends to fill in the small empty spaces. These can sometimes bury the pebbles or blur how we see the golf balls.
   
4. The Drink - Who would you like to make time to sit with and just talk, share, laugh, let time pass?