The greatest gift we can give and receive this holiday season is the gift of self love. When we love ourselves, everything else in our lives begins to fall into place.
Love yourself for who you are and recognize how your became the woman you are today. Love the shape of your body and recognize that this vessel gets your through every minute of everyday - thank it for its work. Love yourself for what you have been through in your lifetime and bless the life you live, even if it seems to be difficult today.
Loving ourselves for who we are, how we carry ourselves ... this is a gift that keeps giving for the rest of our lives.
Happy Holidays.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Beauty and Breast Cancer
The Beautiful Women Project is about the strength and beauty of women - one does not exist with the other.
This past week, one of our own was diagnosed with breast cancer. As she has throughout her life, she is facing this challenge with grace, courage, and beauty. I won't lie to any of you, she is frightened and confused, she has no idea what lies ahead, but she is facing this challenge with her head held high and her feet firmly planted in the ground. She is ready to fight. Nancy is drawing on the strength of her family, her friends, and those in her community that love her for who she is and the way in which she has touched their lives.
This amazing woman often thanks me for how The Beautiful Women Project has changed the way she sees herself as a woman, improved her relationships with her children and siblings, and opened her eyes to all of the good in her life. I see her quite often and have watched the transformation - she has embraced her beauty and continues to touch those in her life and community. She is more beautiful today than she was the day I met her and asked her to be a part of The Beautiful Women Project.
From this point forward, in her honor, any book purchased directly from the Beautiful Women Project web site will be donated to breast cancer organizations fighting the beautiful fight for women. Thank you for your support. Most importantly, I thank you for your thoughts and prayers for our Beautiful Woman.
This past week, one of our own was diagnosed with breast cancer. As she has throughout her life, she is facing this challenge with grace, courage, and beauty. I won't lie to any of you, she is frightened and confused, she has no idea what lies ahead, but she is facing this challenge with her head held high and her feet firmly planted in the ground. She is ready to fight. Nancy is drawing on the strength of her family, her friends, and those in her community that love her for who she is and the way in which she has touched their lives.
This amazing woman often thanks me for how The Beautiful Women Project has changed the way she sees herself as a woman, improved her relationships with her children and siblings, and opened her eyes to all of the good in her life. I see her quite often and have watched the transformation - she has embraced her beauty and continues to touch those in her life and community. She is more beautiful today than she was the day I met her and asked her to be a part of The Beautiful Women Project.
From this point forward, in her honor, any book purchased directly from the Beautiful Women Project web site will be donated to breast cancer organizations fighting the beautiful fight for women. Thank you for your support. Most importantly, I thank you for your thoughts and prayers for our Beautiful Woman.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Strengtheing Your Self Esteem
You know how to make your body stronger, but how do you strengthen your belief in yourself? There are no research studies, no number of minutes per day we need to to raise our self esteem rate, no suggested number of reps per machine. Why can't building your self esteem be like strengthening your body?
Exercise 1: Start liking yourself for who you are and stop putting yourself down. Everyday take a moment to look in the mirror and say at least one thing you like about yourself. This may be uncomfortable at first, but in time you will begin to discover all of the wonderful things that make you ... you. Warning: You may not want to do this exercise when you are tight for time as you will find that as you get stronger, your list of likable attributes will get longer.
Exercise 2: Start accepting yourself for who you are and stop striving for perfection. Choose a day to stop yourself from always being right or perfect. It may be helpful to journal throughout the day about how you met particular situations and how you felt about each event. When you reflect upon the day you will find that you had incredible moments of happiness spread throughout your day. Repeat daily.
Exercise 3: Start smiling. A smile is powerful. A smile is transformational. It not only changes you, but everyone who sees your smile.
Now, none of these exercises have been sanctioned by any particular association, but I don't see the harm in trying them to make yourself a stronger person.
Exercise 3:
Exercise 1: Start liking yourself for who you are and stop putting yourself down. Everyday take a moment to look in the mirror and say at least one thing you like about yourself. This may be uncomfortable at first, but in time you will begin to discover all of the wonderful things that make you ... you. Warning: You may not want to do this exercise when you are tight for time as you will find that as you get stronger, your list of likable attributes will get longer.
Exercise 2: Start accepting yourself for who you are and stop striving for perfection. Choose a day to stop yourself from always being right or perfect. It may be helpful to journal throughout the day about how you met particular situations and how you felt about each event. When you reflect upon the day you will find that you had incredible moments of happiness spread throughout your day. Repeat daily.
Exercise 3: Start smiling. A smile is powerful. A smile is transformational. It not only changes you, but everyone who sees your smile.
Now, none of these exercises have been sanctioned by any particular association, but I don't see the harm in trying them to make yourself a stronger person.
Exercise 3:
Sunday, November 23, 2008
So Much to be Thankful For
Even in the most challenging times, we all have so much to be thankful for in our lives. Thanksgiving is an opportunity to take a moment and give thanks for all that we do have in our lives instead of focusing on those things that are currently missing or seem out of our reach. Thanksgiving is also a time to look at the opportunities that lie before us, and remember that opportunities come in some of the most surprising shapes and forms.
Here is one minute exercise to do on your own - or even try it with your friends and family over the holiday.
(1) In thirty seconds list the things that you are thankful for in this moment of your life.
(2) In thirty seconds list the things in your life that you would like to change or that are proving to be extremely challenging for you in this moment of your life.
Take some time to reflect on both of your lists and give thanks for everything on both lists.
It is easy to be thankful for all of the things we want and have in our life. It is difficult to give thanks for your challenges and unwelcome situations, but you have the power within yourself to turn things around. By giving thanks for the things that you don't necessarily like or want, you are immediately changing the power that it has over your life. Simply finding the positive in something that seems overwhelmingly negative changes your life's dynamic.
Most importantly, remember that it is all a part of your life's journey and that....
Here is one minute exercise to do on your own - or even try it with your friends and family over the holiday.
(1) In thirty seconds list the things that you are thankful for in this moment of your life.
(2) In thirty seconds list the things in your life that you would like to change or that are proving to be extremely challenging for you in this moment of your life.
Take some time to reflect on both of your lists and give thanks for everything on both lists.
It is easy to be thankful for all of the things we want and have in our life. It is difficult to give thanks for your challenges and unwelcome situations, but you have the power within yourself to turn things around. By giving thanks for the things that you don't necessarily like or want, you are immediately changing the power that it has over your life. Simply finding the positive in something that seems overwhelmingly negative changes your life's dynamic.
Most importantly, remember that it is all a part of your life's journey and that....
LIFE + EXPERIENCE = BEAUTY
HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM THE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN PROJECT
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Beauty of Being a Girl
There is something amazing about just being a girl. This past week the Beautiful Women Project has been at the Springside School for Girls in Philadelphia. It is an amazing place where the spirit of womanhood thrives. The girls come in all shapes and sizes, there are little girls moving upward and there are young women getting ready to move onward toward college. There is a sense of oneness, yet the knowledge that each and everyone of them is an individual. A wonderful example of this has been my favorite thing to observe: despite the requirement of wearing a uniform, each girl wears different socks and shoes that express their personalities, the way they feel that morning as they get dressed and how they want the world to see them throughout the day.
This wonderful school, and so many others like it across the country, is a living and breathing example of the beauty of being a woman. Woman are there for one another to support each other through good days and bad days. They are there to lift one another up toward their goals and catch them if they slip or fall on their way. They are there to help one another express their greatest delights or ther greatest fears. Yes, there is competition, but it is the kind of competition that builds one another up - not tear one another down. There is no greater bond that women share, regardless of all of the things that may seem to make us different, we all start out as little girls who grow into amazing women. There is just something so amazing about being a girl.
This wonderful school, and so many others like it across the country, is a living and breathing example of the beauty of being a woman. Woman are there for one another to support each other through good days and bad days. They are there to lift one another up toward their goals and catch them if they slip or fall on their way. They are there to help one another express their greatest delights or ther greatest fears. Yes, there is competition, but it is the kind of competition that builds one another up - not tear one another down. There is no greater bond that women share, regardless of all of the things that may seem to make us different, we all start out as little girls who grow into amazing women. There is just something so amazing about being a girl.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The Media - Image Maker or Societal Messenger?
"Don't hate me because I am beautiful." A famous tag line from a shampoo commercial. Funny thing about the commercial is that I can't remember the brand of shampoo the ad men and women were trying to sell, nor the actress that spoke those lines. I have to admit I did use Google to do a quick bit of detective work to find that it was Pantene and the actress was Kelly LeBrock. The words stuck with me and, based on my Google search, many others in this world because they are still talking about that tag line. The notion that women would actually not like another woman because she was considered beautiful because of her physical appearance has stuck with our societal consciousness for almost twenty years since the airing of this commercial. Is this an example of the power of the media to create a behavior or is it the power we as a society can give words and images if we so choose buy into these created notions?
"I never know if guys like me for who I am or because I am so pretty." A line from a recent Ugly Betty episode. Truth be told, at some point in our lives, we do question why we are liked or loved by at least one individual. It is that great turning point in most love stories played out on the small or large screen. Remember Julia Roberts superstar character to Hugh Grant's simple bookstar character declaring that despite her celebrity status she was, "...just a girl looking to be loved...." Are these examples of the media having the power to put an idea into the heads of young girls and women or is the media giving power into our laps by letting our greatest insecurities out of the bag so that we no longer have to feel so alone and isolated in the world? Their is great strength in knowing that there are others out there that we can share our feelings and experiences...it allows us to grow.
So The Beautiful Women Project leaves you with these thoughts: Does the media have the power over society to change ideas and create behavior or is the media simply reflecting back onto society what is really going on but don't want to talk about out loud?
"I never know if guys like me for who I am or because I am so pretty." A line from a recent Ugly Betty episode. Truth be told, at some point in our lives, we do question why we are liked or loved by at least one individual. It is that great turning point in most love stories played out on the small or large screen. Remember Julia Roberts superstar character to Hugh Grant's simple bookstar character declaring that despite her celebrity status she was, "...just a girl looking to be loved...." Are these examples of the media having the power to put an idea into the heads of young girls and women or is the media giving power into our laps by letting our greatest insecurities out of the bag so that we no longer have to feel so alone and isolated in the world? Their is great strength in knowing that there are others out there that we can share our feelings and experiences...it allows us to grow.
So The Beautiful Women Project leaves you with these thoughts: Does the media have the power over society to change ideas and create behavior or is the media simply reflecting back onto society what is really going on but don't want to talk about out loud?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Finding Inspiration
The Beautiful Women Project believes that our greatest life challenges should also be viewed as our greatest opportunities. Challenging times are a wonderful opportunity to ask ourselves, "What inspires me?" "Who inspires me?" "How can I inspire others?"
It is through inspiration that our greatest acts of love and kindness emerge from us. Inspiration turns acts of hatred into acts of kindness and compassion. Inspiration transforms a doodle on a scrap piece of paper into an image that transcends form and figure. Inspiration provides a pathway away from self hatred to a life filled with self love.
Inspirations is a wonderful gift that you can give to yourself and share with others around you. Your inspiration may just be how you get through the challenging opportunities that lie before you today.
It is through inspiration that our greatest acts of love and kindness emerge from us. Inspiration turns acts of hatred into acts of kindness and compassion. Inspiration transforms a doodle on a scrap piece of paper into an image that transcends form and figure. Inspiration provides a pathway away from self hatred to a life filled with self love.
Inspirations is a wonderful gift that you can give to yourself and share with others around you. Your inspiration may just be how you get through the challenging opportunities that lie before you today.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Reflections on Halloween 2008 - The Year of the Trampy Costume
Move over Scary Witch, Fairy Princess, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and make room for Sexy Witches, Seductive Little Mermaids, and Trampy Cheerleaders?!?! Welcome to Halloween 2008 - The Year of the Trampy Costume.
Who thought that it was okay to take the innocence out of Halloween costumes for young girls, tween, and teens? Take a cruise down your local retailer and the costumes available for young girls are far too revealing for young girls and teens. The costumes for boys have them well covered: firemen, policemen, turtles, commandos...they even get props to complete their ensembles. The male pirate is covered from head to toe with pants and a flowing long sleeved shirt while the female version has a VERY short skirt and a form fitting short sleeved shirt. And who thought it would be "cute" for tweens and teens to dress like Playboy bunnies?
Moms are frustrated, they can't find costumes that are appropriate for their daughters to wear to school, community parades, around the neighborhood, or just around the house for dress up. Girls are upset with their mothers for not letting them wear the costumes they are seeing in the stores. Tempers are flaring, tears are being shed, time is drawing closer to the big parade and party. There are no Cinderella costumes that are appropriate for the ball.
Girls feel tremendous pressure everyday to grow up before their time. Is there really a need to pressure them to be sexy in their Halloween costumes?
Who thought that it was okay to take the innocence out of Halloween costumes for young girls, tween, and teens? Take a cruise down your local retailer and the costumes available for young girls are far too revealing for young girls and teens. The costumes for boys have them well covered: firemen, policemen, turtles, commandos...they even get props to complete their ensembles. The male pirate is covered from head to toe with pants and a flowing long sleeved shirt while the female version has a VERY short skirt and a form fitting short sleeved shirt. And who thought it would be "cute" for tweens and teens to dress like Playboy bunnies?
Moms are frustrated, they can't find costumes that are appropriate for their daughters to wear to school, community parades, around the neighborhood, or just around the house for dress up. Girls are upset with their mothers for not letting them wear the costumes they are seeing in the stores. Tempers are flaring, tears are being shed, time is drawing closer to the big parade and party. There are no Cinderella costumes that are appropriate for the ball.
Girls feel tremendous pressure everyday to grow up before their time. Is there really a need to pressure them to be sexy in their Halloween costumes?
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Beautiful Women Project's Second Anniversary and Breast Cancer Awareness Month
This weekend marks The Beautiful Women Project's Second Anniversary. The Beautiful Women Project was launched on October 11, 2006, in Saratoga Springs, NY. In the past two years we have raised awareness of women's health initiatives, visited numerous art in public space venues, helped raise funds for countless not-for-profits, and through our outreach work have touched the lives of thousands of individuals.
I purposefully chose the month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, to launch The Beautiful Women Project. As women, every October, we are reminded how important it is to take the time to conduct self-examinations of our breasts. This very simple preventative measure is one of the best ways that we have gained ground in the fight against breast cancer. Unfortunately, all too often, something that is healthy for us as women - self examination, becomes something that becomes unhealthy. It is easy to begin the searching to find all of the things we don't like about our bodies - the bit of flesh coming out of the bra, the breasts that don't stand up at attention as they did when we were teenagers, the skin under our arms that hangs from the bone, the sun spots that run across the upper chest, the hips that may have widened after childbirth...the list can go on and on and on.
Beginning this month - WHEN YOU CONDUCT YOUR SELF BREAST EXAMINATION, instead of making a list of all of the things you don't like about your body write down one thing you LIKE ABOUT YOUR BODY. Next month, look at your list of one and add a second. Each month add something new that you like about your body to your list and by the end of the year you should have at least twelve things you like about your body and healthy breasts.
If you are one of the thousands of women who do not conduct their monthly breast exams because you don't like looking at your body in the mirror, take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror - fully clothed, and see your own beauty. Please take the time to honor yourself and conduct your breast examination, even if you do it with a shirt on this first month. Before, or after, write down one thing that you do like about your body. Next month, conduct your self exam again and write two things you like about your body - by the end of the year you will have at least twelve things you like about your body, be comfortable with your body, and you will be healthy.
It is also fitting that October 15th has been designated Love Your Body Day by the National Organization for Women. On this, and everyday, take a moment to recognize that your physical body is a small part of your individual beauty - it is the sum of your life experiences that shine through your body that makes you beautiful.
I purposefully chose the month of October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, to launch The Beautiful Women Project. As women, every October, we are reminded how important it is to take the time to conduct self-examinations of our breasts. This very simple preventative measure is one of the best ways that we have gained ground in the fight against breast cancer. Unfortunately, all too often, something that is healthy for us as women - self examination, becomes something that becomes unhealthy. It is easy to begin the searching to find all of the things we don't like about our bodies - the bit of flesh coming out of the bra, the breasts that don't stand up at attention as they did when we were teenagers, the skin under our arms that hangs from the bone, the sun spots that run across the upper chest, the hips that may have widened after childbirth...the list can go on and on and on.
Beginning this month - WHEN YOU CONDUCT YOUR SELF BREAST EXAMINATION, instead of making a list of all of the things you don't like about your body write down one thing you LIKE ABOUT YOUR BODY. Next month, look at your list of one and add a second. Each month add something new that you like about your body to your list and by the end of the year you should have at least twelve things you like about your body and healthy breasts.
If you are one of the thousands of women who do not conduct their monthly breast exams because you don't like looking at your body in the mirror, take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror - fully clothed, and see your own beauty. Please take the time to honor yourself and conduct your breast examination, even if you do it with a shirt on this first month. Before, or after, write down one thing that you do like about your body. Next month, conduct your self exam again and write two things you like about your body - by the end of the year you will have at least twelve things you like about your body, be comfortable with your body, and you will be healthy.
It is also fitting that October 15th has been designated Love Your Body Day by the National Organization for Women. On this, and everyday, take a moment to recognize that your physical body is a small part of your individual beauty - it is the sum of your life experiences that shine through your body that makes you beautiful.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Forget the Shoulds, Just Be.
In our minds we all have ideas about how we should look, how we should dress, how we should act, and even who we should strive to emulate. That is a whole lot of shoulds. What is wrong with just being who we are? The simple fact is, we are so focused on the shoulds, we have lost sight of the being we are all.
It is very important to reacquaint yourself with the person that you are today. What makes you feel beautiful? I have been asked, what do you mean? For me, I feel most beautiful when I am sitting alone in my bathroom waxing my legs. Yes, you really just read that sentence. It's quiet and intimate. I also feel amazing when I am behind the my camera...I am my true self. Some women feel beautiful when they are out in a restaurant having their hand held by the man they love, some feel beautiful reading under an elm tree in the summer, some feel beautiful singing along with their car radio. You may not be sure what that “thing” is off the top of your head, but through self-examination, you will find it.
Below you will find a series of random questions. Provide the answers that come immediately to your mind. I usually find your instinct serves you best. You are not being judged or graded, you don't even have to share your answers with your closest friend. Just enjoy the experience of your beauty. Enjoy being who you are in this moment of your life.
It is very important to reacquaint yourself with the person that you are today. What makes you feel beautiful? I have been asked, what do you mean? For me, I feel most beautiful when I am sitting alone in my bathroom waxing my legs. Yes, you really just read that sentence. It's quiet and intimate. I also feel amazing when I am behind the my camera...I am my true self. Some women feel beautiful when they are out in a restaurant having their hand held by the man they love, some feel beautiful reading under an elm tree in the summer, some feel beautiful singing along with their car radio. You may not be sure what that “thing” is off the top of your head, but through self-examination, you will find it.
Below you will find a series of random questions. Provide the answers that come immediately to your mind. I usually find your instinct serves you best. You are not being judged or graded, you don't even have to share your answers with your closest friend. Just enjoy the experience of your beauty. Enjoy being who you are in this moment of your life.
Favorite Soundtrack/Song:
Favorite Movie
Favorite Television Show
Favorite Time of Day
Favorite Season of the Year
Favorite Form of Exercise
Favorite Food
Favorite thing to Shop for
Childhood Ambition
First Job
Perfect Day
Indulgence
Biggest Challenge
Inspiration
Proudest Moment
Wildest Dream
Fondest Memory
Complete the following sentences:
I begin each day…
I end each day…
I am most comfortable…
I am most uncomfortable…
A person that sees me walking down the street would never believe/guess…
When I look in the mirror I see…
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Living In & Loving the Body You Have Today
This past weekend was my dearest friends' twentieth high school reunion. She was petrified about returning to see her high school friends, many of which she has not seen in twenty years. What petrified her most was that the physical body she has today doesn't resemble the body she had on graduation day. It was difficult for her to admit her fears and body image issues, but she was willingness to speak openly and honestly about her body to move through this body image challenge.
The first question that came to me was to ask: At 38, can your body resemble that of an eighteen year old girl? At eighteen, some girls are still growing and developing, some are just finishing puberty. Their breasts are "new", their hips can be quite slender and there is a marked difference between the buttocks, legs, and stomach of an eighteen year old and a woman past her thirties. Let's face it, regardless of how well a woman takes care of herself our bodies continue to develop and change over time. Skin stretches, hips expand, and other metabolic changes can result in physical changes. There is no denying that physical changes continue throughout a woman's lifetime. It is better to embrace the bodies that we have throughout our lifetime and be thankful for all that our bodies do for us everyday.
My second question was more personal: Why does it bother you that you have changed? For my friend it bothered her because in high school she was an athlete, extremely physically fit, and today she doesn't feel that her body reflects that part of her life. Today, her lifestyle has taken her in a different direction, not that of an active individual. She was quick to admit that since she became a mom she has neglected to take time out of her week to exercise, and eating on the fly has become the norm instead of the exception. Throughout the course of our conversation, she came to an awareness that this aspect of how she views her body is something that she knows that she can change, but the fear of failure has held her back from beginning to do the work. She wasn't even afraid of failing herself, it was letting her family and friends down if she couldn't stick with her routine, or ended up losing the weight and then gaining it all back one day. I reminded her that she can't do this for others, it has to be about her and what she wants from her life and her body. Her family and friends love and support her because of who she is, not the number on her scale.
By Saturday evening, my friend was comfortable in the knowledge that it wasn't an eighteen year old girl who would be walking into the reunion, so there was no reason why her body would resemble that of such a young girl. That is who she was then, not who she is today. In this moment of her life, she chose to let the experiences of the past twenty years shine through her for her old friends to see how they have shaped the person she is today.
The first question that came to me was to ask: At 38, can your body resemble that of an eighteen year old girl? At eighteen, some girls are still growing and developing, some are just finishing puberty. Their breasts are "new", their hips can be quite slender and there is a marked difference between the buttocks, legs, and stomach of an eighteen year old and a woman past her thirties. Let's face it, regardless of how well a woman takes care of herself our bodies continue to develop and change over time. Skin stretches, hips expand, and other metabolic changes can result in physical changes. There is no denying that physical changes continue throughout a woman's lifetime. It is better to embrace the bodies that we have throughout our lifetime and be thankful for all that our bodies do for us everyday.
My second question was more personal: Why does it bother you that you have changed? For my friend it bothered her because in high school she was an athlete, extremely physically fit, and today she doesn't feel that her body reflects that part of her life. Today, her lifestyle has taken her in a different direction, not that of an active individual. She was quick to admit that since she became a mom she has neglected to take time out of her week to exercise, and eating on the fly has become the norm instead of the exception. Throughout the course of our conversation, she came to an awareness that this aspect of how she views her body is something that she knows that she can change, but the fear of failure has held her back from beginning to do the work. She wasn't even afraid of failing herself, it was letting her family and friends down if she couldn't stick with her routine, or ended up losing the weight and then gaining it all back one day. I reminded her that she can't do this for others, it has to be about her and what she wants from her life and her body. Her family and friends love and support her because of who she is, not the number on her scale.
By Saturday evening, my friend was comfortable in the knowledge that it wasn't an eighteen year old girl who would be walking into the reunion, so there was no reason why her body would resemble that of such a young girl. That is who she was then, not who she is today. In this moment of her life, she chose to let the experiences of the past twenty years shine through her for her old friends to see how they have shaped the person she is today.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Threads of Beauty
For the past two summers I have been fortunate to have The Beautiful Women Project spend the summers at Wiawaka Holiday Retreat House for Women. It is a beautiful place in Lake George, NY and it is exactly what its name claims to be...a holiday retreat for women.
This year I led two workshops one entitled The Dynamics and Importance of Female Friendships and another on The Threads of Beauty. I created this workshop discussion specifically for a group of women who came to Wiawaka to spend their time together quilting. Not a quilter myself, I spent a great deal of time researching and learning about the art of quilting. Simply stated by the Columbia Encyclopedia, "Quilting is a form of needlework, almost always created by women, most of them anonymous, in which two layers of fabric on either side of in interlining are sewn together, usually with a pattern of back running (quilting) stitches that hold the layers together."
Quilting, a form of storytelling, is a six step process...Six steps that parallel the stories of the telling of an individual's life story.
1. Selecting a Pattern, fabrics, and batting...Who do I want to be? What is my story?
2. Measuring and cutting fabrics the correct size to make blocks from the patterns...An individual's life experiences are the building blocks of their life. We each have our own size and know what is best fit for our life.
3. Piecing blocks together to make a finished "top"...Meeting life's experiences and seeing opportunity in the good as well as the challenges.
4. Layering the quilt top with batting and bcking to make a "quilt sandwich"
5. Quilting by hand or machine through all of the layers of the quilt sandwich...Carrying your experiences so they shine through you for those around you to encounter and bask in your light.
6. Squaring up and trimming excess batting from the edges, sewing and stitching the binding to the quilt backing...Packing and repacking your luggage along your journey. What may have been important or worked in your life in the past may no longer serve you in your present moment.
What are the layers that hold your life together?
This year I led two workshops one entitled The Dynamics and Importance of Female Friendships and another on The Threads of Beauty. I created this workshop discussion specifically for a group of women who came to Wiawaka to spend their time together quilting. Not a quilter myself, I spent a great deal of time researching and learning about the art of quilting. Simply stated by the Columbia Encyclopedia, "Quilting is a form of needlework, almost always created by women, most of them anonymous, in which two layers of fabric on either side of in interlining are sewn together, usually with a pattern of back running (quilting) stitches that hold the layers together."
Quilting, a form of storytelling, is a six step process...Six steps that parallel the stories of the telling of an individual's life story.
1. Selecting a Pattern, fabrics, and batting...Who do I want to be? What is my story?
2. Measuring and cutting fabrics the correct size to make blocks from the patterns...An individual's life experiences are the building blocks of their life. We each have our own size and know what is best fit for our life.
3. Piecing blocks together to make a finished "top"...Meeting life's experiences and seeing opportunity in the good as well as the challenges.
4. Layering the quilt top with batting and bcking to make a "quilt sandwich"
5. Quilting by hand or machine through all of the layers of the quilt sandwich...Carrying your experiences so they shine through you for those around you to encounter and bask in your light.
6. Squaring up and trimming excess batting from the edges, sewing and stitching the binding to the quilt backing...Packing and repacking your luggage along your journey. What may have been important or worked in your life in the past may no longer serve you in your present moment.
What are the layers that hold your life together?
Sunday, September 7, 2008
What We Have to Show for Our Lives
My cousin called me today in distress. Always a strong and independent woman, she is a mother of three young children, a successful business woman, and a wife of fourteen years. Her marriage is in dire straits, and it is her belief that she will soon be a forty five year old single mother. A child of divorce herself, this is not what she wanted for her life or the lives of her children. Quietly she asked, "For all that I have invested in my life and marriage, what do I have to show for my life ?" Knowing my cousin's nature, she wasn't looking for sympathy, but brutal honesty.
My cousin grew up in a tiny little town on top of a mountain. A tomboy, she found her life's passion in downhill skiing and was chosen to attend a private high school that would take her off her mountain and into a strange and exciting world. A college awarded her a full skiing scholarship and with further development she qualified as an alternate on the US Olympic Ski Team. At any point in her lifetime she could have returned home to work in her family's established business, a business that would have provided her with a very comfortable life. Instead, she chose to strike out on her own. With time, she established not one, not two, but three successful businesses. She always recognized the responsibility she had for the lives of her employees and their families, and when times were tough she would take on additional jobs as a waitress, ski instructor and coach, or respiratory therapist in a local hospital, in order to keep things afloat. Always a mother to her children and wife to her husband, it was her that made sure that they bills were paid, the laundry was completed and the groceries were in the refrigerator and cupboards. The importance of love, family, and friendship - lessons learned on top of her chilhood mountain home, are now passed onto her children. When her father was terminally ill, she was his primary care giver, with him until he took his final breath. Over the years she has created a network of friends that are there for her in times of celebration and support her in her darkest hours, often when family was too far away. There are children that she instructed on the ski slopes that are on race teams across the country or just enjoying the winters with their families year in and year out because of her instruction. There are little babies that have grown into thriving teenagers because she was there for them in the neo-natal unit helping them breath when their little lungs needed assistance. There are three amazing children thriving in the world because of their mother. I believe that she found it hard to believe that she thought for even a moment that she had nothing to show for her life.
Often when posed with the question, "What do I have to show for my life?" we are looking for material, tangible pieces of evidence. The truth be told, the measure of a life isn't how much money has accumulated in a bank account, the number or kind of cars in a garage, the waist or dress size you have hanging in the closet - or the size of your closet for that matter. The answers to the question are quiet similar to the definition of beauty: It is the sum of your life experiences. The answer lies in your life's journey.
We all have things in our lives demonstrate our life's value. Even during the most challenging times, there are amazing things. Find a moment in the next week to recognize all of the wonderful things that you have to show for your lifetime.
My cousin grew up in a tiny little town on top of a mountain. A tomboy, she found her life's passion in downhill skiing and was chosen to attend a private high school that would take her off her mountain and into a strange and exciting world. A college awarded her a full skiing scholarship and with further development she qualified as an alternate on the US Olympic Ski Team. At any point in her lifetime she could have returned home to work in her family's established business, a business that would have provided her with a very comfortable life. Instead, she chose to strike out on her own. With time, she established not one, not two, but three successful businesses. She always recognized the responsibility she had for the lives of her employees and their families, and when times were tough she would take on additional jobs as a waitress, ski instructor and coach, or respiratory therapist in a local hospital, in order to keep things afloat. Always a mother to her children and wife to her husband, it was her that made sure that they bills were paid, the laundry was completed and the groceries were in the refrigerator and cupboards. The importance of love, family, and friendship - lessons learned on top of her chilhood mountain home, are now passed onto her children. When her father was terminally ill, she was his primary care giver, with him until he took his final breath. Over the years she has created a network of friends that are there for her in times of celebration and support her in her darkest hours, often when family was too far away. There are children that she instructed on the ski slopes that are on race teams across the country or just enjoying the winters with their families year in and year out because of her instruction. There are little babies that have grown into thriving teenagers because she was there for them in the neo-natal unit helping them breath when their little lungs needed assistance. There are three amazing children thriving in the world because of their mother. I believe that she found it hard to believe that she thought for even a moment that she had nothing to show for her life.
Often when posed with the question, "What do I have to show for my life?" we are looking for material, tangible pieces of evidence. The truth be told, the measure of a life isn't how much money has accumulated in a bank account, the number or kind of cars in a garage, the waist or dress size you have hanging in the closet - or the size of your closet for that matter. The answers to the question are quiet similar to the definition of beauty: It is the sum of your life experiences. The answer lies in your life's journey.
We all have things in our lives demonstrate our life's value. Even during the most challenging times, there are amazing things. Find a moment in the next week to recognize all of the wonderful things that you have to show for your lifetime.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
The Beautiful Women Project is Going Back to School
September has always been my favorite time of year, I truly believe that it is the beginning of my year. Perhaps it is because I always liked going back to school - seeing my old friends, meeting new friends, the routine of everyday life. Maybe that is why I eventually became a teacher - I loved my years teaching high school and middle school, I always looked forward to going back into the classroom and meeting my new students while watching my previous students move onward and upward through the years.
Since October of 2007 The Beautiful Women Project has been traveling to colleges and universities, creating exciting programming incorporating our project, current courses of studies, and related popular culture topics and calendar weeks and months related to women. We have met so many amazing women and men on our travels - all wanting to engage in the discussion of women and beauty. This is a wonderful arena for multi-layered discussions that touch the lives of a wide range of academic and social interests. The Beautiful Women Project is excited about all of the college and university communiities that we will be visiting this academic year.
Beginning this fall, The Beautiful Women Project officially launches our educational partnership with middle and highs school level students. Working with administrators, counseling personnel, educators, and volunteers our project will be bringing exciting and vital character education programming to young women across the country. Our Arts in Education workshops provide opportunities for students to participate in their social development, taking into consideration different learning styles, current curricular discussion and goals, and the interests and lifestyles of the student population Students will walk away from their experience with a new understanding of art in public space, a redefinition of beauty and role models, and tools and resources that they can use when they meet their life experiences and challenges.
We are committed to continue our mission of working with communities across the country bringing a simple yet powerful message : it is the sum of a woman's life experiences that makes her beautiful.
We are always looking for opportunities to bring The Beautiful Women Project to new communities. Please contact us to discuss how we can work with your university, school, conference, or organization.
Since October of 2007 The Beautiful Women Project has been traveling to colleges and universities, creating exciting programming incorporating our project, current courses of studies, and related popular culture topics and calendar weeks and months related to women. We have met so many amazing women and men on our travels - all wanting to engage in the discussion of women and beauty. This is a wonderful arena for multi-layered discussions that touch the lives of a wide range of academic and social interests. The Beautiful Women Project is excited about all of the college and university communiities that we will be visiting this academic year.
Beginning this fall, The Beautiful Women Project officially launches our educational partnership with middle and highs school level students. Working with administrators, counseling personnel, educators, and volunteers our project will be bringing exciting and vital character education programming to young women across the country. Our Arts in Education workshops provide opportunities for students to participate in their social development, taking into consideration different learning styles, current curricular discussion and goals, and the interests and lifestyles of the student population Students will walk away from their experience with a new understanding of art in public space, a redefinition of beauty and role models, and tools and resources that they can use when they meet their life experiences and challenges.
We are committed to continue our mission of working with communities across the country bringing a simple yet powerful message : it is the sum of a woman's life experiences that makes her beautiful.
We are always looking for opportunities to bring The Beautiful Women Project to new communities. Please contact us to discuss how we can work with your university, school, conference, or organization.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Beauty All Around Me
I have returned to the place The Beautiful Women Project began and I am happy to report that there is so much beauty around me.
In the past week, I have observed women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and cultures embracing their lives. Because they are so unencumbered by their physical bodies there is a great deal of laughter, playing, conversation, sharing, exploring, learning, and celebrating.
Women are eating delicious and nourishing foods. Women are swimming in the sea and in the pools with their families. Women are dancing to the music playing in the parks into the night. Women are reading and sharing ideas on the world and life. All of this is going on amongst women who are family, friends, strangers meeting for the first time, and across generations. It is a very supportive environment.
There is a lot to be learned from the lives of these women. My greatest wish is that I could bottle all of this up and bring this home to America. I can't do this, but I can continue to dedicate myself and The Beautiful Women Project to shaping a healthier frame of mind for and about beautiful women.
In the past week, I have observed women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and cultures embracing their lives. Because they are so unencumbered by their physical bodies there is a great deal of laughter, playing, conversation, sharing, exploring, learning, and celebrating.
Women are eating delicious and nourishing foods. Women are swimming in the sea and in the pools with their families. Women are dancing to the music playing in the parks into the night. Women are reading and sharing ideas on the world and life. All of this is going on amongst women who are family, friends, strangers meeting for the first time, and across generations. It is a very supportive environment.
There is a lot to be learned from the lives of these women. My greatest wish is that I could bottle all of this up and bring this home to America. I can't do this, but I can continue to dedicate myself and The Beautiful Women Project to shaping a healthier frame of mind for and about beautiful women.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Going Back to the Beginning
The message of the Beautiful Women Project is simple, yet so poweful: It is the sum of a woman's life experiences that make her beautiful. For those who have heard me speak either at an exhibition, during an interview, attended a workshop, or have been reading The Beautiful Women Project's blogy, you know that I often write about the need to experience your own beauty. Our experiences are what define who we are as an individual, as a woman. The Beautiful Women Project is one of the greatest experiences of my life.
The Beautiful Women Project began as I sat on the beach in Italy in 2003. My husband is Italian, and we go home every summer to visit our family. This particular summer I was acutely aware that, despite my accomplishments I was not proud of who I was because I was not proud of my body. As I sat under my umbrella, hiding from the world, I began observing all of the women around me on the beach. They were, unlike me, embracing their lives. Swimming, playing, talking with one another, laughing with their families: completely uninhibited by their bodies. They were so beautiful. Their beauty was shining through them, to be shared with all of us around them, for the world to see. I wanted to gain what they had that I did not yet possess. I wanted to know what they knew about true beauty, so that I too could begin embracing life.
When I returned home, I continued to observe and write about beauty; how I wanted to discover, uncover, and share beautiful women that were beautiful because of how they met their challenges and carried their experiences. I set out on a mission of a lifetime. The Beautiful Women Project has become, not only a documentary photography exhibition, but opportunities for women and men to come together to discuss beauty and make real changes in their lives.
Five years later, I am returning to Italy. In previous posts I have written about writing down your life experiences and in moments of self doubt, darkness, and strength going back and reading through your entries to see how far you have come. Reading your life's journey in order to EXPERIENCE your own beauty. So, to mark this five year milestone, with strength and beauty shining through me, I am going back to the beach in Massa to experience my beauty. I know how far I have come in five years. With pen, paper, cameras, and hopefully a good internet connection, I am going to share my observations on beauty from the place it all began.
Going back to the beginning can be as simple as remembering a time in your life when you were truly happy and proud of yourself as a woman. Going back to the beginning can be a quiet moment of reflection and recognition of the woman that you have grown to become today. Going back to the beginning may help you realize that it is time to pack and repack your life luggage - things that you needed to carry with you, even just a few months ago, no longer work for your life today. Going back may mean beginning today to move forward.
Arrivederci!
The Beautiful Women Project began as I sat on the beach in Italy in 2003. My husband is Italian, and we go home every summer to visit our family. This particular summer I was acutely aware that, despite my accomplishments I was not proud of who I was because I was not proud of my body. As I sat under my umbrella, hiding from the world, I began observing all of the women around me on the beach. They were, unlike me, embracing their lives. Swimming, playing, talking with one another, laughing with their families: completely uninhibited by their bodies. They were so beautiful. Their beauty was shining through them, to be shared with all of us around them, for the world to see. I wanted to gain what they had that I did not yet possess. I wanted to know what they knew about true beauty, so that I too could begin embracing life.
When I returned home, I continued to observe and write about beauty; how I wanted to discover, uncover, and share beautiful women that were beautiful because of how they met their challenges and carried their experiences. I set out on a mission of a lifetime. The Beautiful Women Project has become, not only a documentary photography exhibition, but opportunities for women and men to come together to discuss beauty and make real changes in their lives.
Five years later, I am returning to Italy. In previous posts I have written about writing down your life experiences and in moments of self doubt, darkness, and strength going back and reading through your entries to see how far you have come. Reading your life's journey in order to EXPERIENCE your own beauty. So, to mark this five year milestone, with strength and beauty shining through me, I am going back to the beach in Massa to experience my beauty. I know how far I have come in five years. With pen, paper, cameras, and hopefully a good internet connection, I am going to share my observations on beauty from the place it all began.
Going back to the beginning can be as simple as remembering a time in your life when you were truly happy and proud of yourself as a woman. Going back to the beginning can be a quiet moment of reflection and recognition of the woman that you have grown to become today. Going back to the beginning may help you realize that it is time to pack and repack your life luggage - things that you needed to carry with you, even just a few months ago, no longer work for your life today. Going back may mean beginning today to move forward.
Arrivederci!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
A New Formula for Beauty: Life+Experience=Beauty
Advertising is tricky business. The goal of advertising is to make consumers feel like they are getting something special - something that only a select few can achieve. The irony of it all is that, like body perfection, advertising is in itself an illusion. Advertisers want consumers to feel like they are attaining something special whether it be beauty, body perfection, both and more - when all along they are mass marketing products to you and millions of other consumers promising everyone the same thing.
It is easy to fall prey to advertising's enticements, in today's fast paced world who doesn't want to get from point A to point B in ten seconds or less? But how likely is it that true beauty is so simple that it can be found in a bottle of expensive moisturizer, or within a tube of whitening toothpaste, or in a syringe at your dermatologist's office? These products claim to have special formulas that have been clinically proven to make you beautiful. Funny how all of them require you to pay to find something that you already possess.
Beauty is something that we we are born with, and it stays with us throughout our lives. Beauty doesn't care about our age, our weight, our social or economic status, and especially not the brand of moisturizer we choose from the shelves. Unfortunately, somewhere along our journey many of us lose sight of our own beauty and advertisers are just sitting and waiting to present us with their formulas for their definition of beauty, their illusion of what it means to be beautiful. There is only one formula that will lead you, or help you to return to your own beauty, and it won't cost you a penny to get there: Life + Experience=Beauty.
Life - it is what we all do from the moment we open our eyes to the moment we fall asleep. Embracing what comes before us, the people that cross our paths, the opportunities that we are presented (positive and negative) each and every moment of each and everyday.
Experience - often the defining moments of our lives. These moments do not have to be earth shattering in nature, but ulitmately lead us toward being the type of women that we are proud to present to the world.
Beauty - the sum of your life experiences. There is no amount of money that can buy you this.
It is easy to fall prey to advertising's enticements, in today's fast paced world who doesn't want to get from point A to point B in ten seconds or less? But how likely is it that true beauty is so simple that it can be found in a bottle of expensive moisturizer, or within a tube of whitening toothpaste, or in a syringe at your dermatologist's office? These products claim to have special formulas that have been clinically proven to make you beautiful. Funny how all of them require you to pay to find something that you already possess.
Beauty is something that we we are born with, and it stays with us throughout our lives. Beauty doesn't care about our age, our weight, our social or economic status, and especially not the brand of moisturizer we choose from the shelves. Unfortunately, somewhere along our journey many of us lose sight of our own beauty and advertisers are just sitting and waiting to present us with their formulas for their definition of beauty, their illusion of what it means to be beautiful. There is only one formula that will lead you, or help you to return to your own beauty, and it won't cost you a penny to get there: Life + Experience=Beauty.
Life - it is what we all do from the moment we open our eyes to the moment we fall asleep. Embracing what comes before us, the people that cross our paths, the opportunities that we are presented (positive and negative) each and every moment of each and everyday.
Experience - often the defining moments of our lives. These moments do not have to be earth shattering in nature, but ulitmately lead us toward being the type of women that we are proud to present to the world.
Beauty - the sum of your life experiences. There is no amount of money that can buy you this.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Beauty and the Bathing Suit
So I am at the gym taking a strength training class and the instructor shares with us that she is going on vacation next week and needs to go bathing suit shopping. As the twenty of us are hoping that she isn't losing count - she is sharing with us her fear of entering the dreaded dressing room with the bad flourescent lighting and four mirrors. This woman of great character and physical strength, a mother of four children - including a set of twin teenage daughters, a cancer survivor, a respected boys' hockey team strength training coach, a motivator for those who attend her classes, a world traveler, and great friend with a killer sense of humor. She is all of these things PLUS another beautiful amazing woman was being taken down by ... a bathing suit.
This post is for Karen and all women out there who feel good about themselves until they have to try on or wear a bathing suit. Here are The Beautiful Women Project's tips on how to feel beautiful all summer long.
1. Be confident. Before you go shopping or put the bathing suit on for the first day of the season make a list of things that you really like about yourself. There is nothing wrong with boosting your own self confidence. The way that you feel about yourself does affect the way that you view yourself when looking in the mirror.
2. Surround yourself with the people that already like you for who you are not what you look like. Go shopping with your friends - make it a girls day out. You know that your best girlfriends will tell you what makes you look amazing and what you should leave behind in the dressing room. This will also boost your confidence the first time you wear your bathing suit - you already know that you have the support of those that matter the most.
3. Choose a bathing suit that makes you comfortable, not self conscious. Whether it is a full piece, bikini, or shorts and a t-shirt – put on whatever allows you to have fun. It is about embracing life not hiding out while life passes you by.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others. Whether you are in your backyard with friends and family, a community pool, or beach don't look at other women's body parts and see how you match up. Wishing that you look like an ideal that may not be realistic for your body type is not healthy mentally, emotionally, and especially physically. Recognize that you are unique and that is what makes you beautiful. If you want to make changes to your physical body, discuss these ideas with your physician who will help you set and achieve realistic goals.
5. Participate in activities that you enjoy. Build sandcastles, play volleyball, ride the surf, or lose yourself in a good book. The summer is for relaxing. If you are anxious, shifting your focus onto things that you really enjoy will help you forget about your insecurities and allow you to enjoy yoru day, weekend, or vacation.
More than anything else, remember that the bathing suit is a piece of clothing; material sewn together to wear while swimming. It can't hurt you. Don't let it hurt you.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Being a Good Friend to Yourself
When it comes to friends, I don't have many, but I have the best. They accept me exactly as I am - a bit scattered at times, usually five minutes late, uncomfortable in large crowds, and often disappearing for weeks at a time with no notice. My friends like me for who I am, flaws and all. They didn't choose to be my friend because of what I look like, the clothes I wear, or the number on my scale.
Friends love us for who we are - not what we look like. It is time we begin to look at the relationship that we have with ourselves in the same way. Why is it so hard to love and accept ourselves for the women that we are today and are striving to be tomorrow? What will it take for women to be good friends to themselves?
With our days jam packed it is easy to overlook the most important person in our lives: ourselves. Like all of our relationships, this one needs work as well, but it is the easiest to overlook. Try to take some time out everyday - or at least twice a week - to nurture the relationship with yourself. It can be as simple as talking to yourself - verbalize your thoughts, fears, and questions in a soft whisper or a full voice in your bedroom, shower, car, or office. Hearing your thoughts out loud often makes them more "real" and not just thoughts and notions in your head. Journal writing is another wonderful way to get in touch, and stay in touch with yourself. When your thoughts, ideas, notions, dreams, and fears are "out there" you have made the choice to make them a priority, perhaps getting over that scary first admission and putting you on the road to dealing with issues and coming up with a solutions. Putting your thoughts and fears out there may also make it easier to talk about your situation with your family, friends, doctor, boss, co-worker - whomever you may need to turn to for support or resolution.
Another way to get to know yourself better is to ask questions. You may be surprised how little you know about the woman that you are in this particular stage of your life. What may seem like a simple question may stumble you: What is your favorite food? What is your biggest challenge? Proudest moment? Wildest dream? For a rainy day, try deeper reflection where you need to answer with more than a single word or sentence: I am most comfortable/uncomfortable...., A person walking down the street would never guess or believe..., When I look in the mirror I see.... Your answers may lead you to make changes, re-set your compass, or make you aware of the goodness and beauty that resides within you.
Taking the time to reflect on who you are will lead to down a wonderful path of self discovery. You will see what others already know about you - why they chose you to be their friend. The greatest way to be a good friend to others is to begin by being a good friend to yourself.
Friends love us for who we are - not what we look like. It is time we begin to look at the relationship that we have with ourselves in the same way. Why is it so hard to love and accept ourselves for the women that we are today and are striving to be tomorrow? What will it take for women to be good friends to themselves?
With our days jam packed it is easy to overlook the most important person in our lives: ourselves. Like all of our relationships, this one needs work as well, but it is the easiest to overlook. Try to take some time out everyday - or at least twice a week - to nurture the relationship with yourself. It can be as simple as talking to yourself - verbalize your thoughts, fears, and questions in a soft whisper or a full voice in your bedroom, shower, car, or office. Hearing your thoughts out loud often makes them more "real" and not just thoughts and notions in your head. Journal writing is another wonderful way to get in touch, and stay in touch with yourself. When your thoughts, ideas, notions, dreams, and fears are "out there" you have made the choice to make them a priority, perhaps getting over that scary first admission and putting you on the road to dealing with issues and coming up with a solutions. Putting your thoughts and fears out there may also make it easier to talk about your situation with your family, friends, doctor, boss, co-worker - whomever you may need to turn to for support or resolution.
Another way to get to know yourself better is to ask questions. You may be surprised how little you know about the woman that you are in this particular stage of your life. What may seem like a simple question may stumble you: What is your favorite food? What is your biggest challenge? Proudest moment? Wildest dream? For a rainy day, try deeper reflection where you need to answer with more than a single word or sentence: I am most comfortable/uncomfortable...., A person walking down the street would never guess or believe..., When I look in the mirror I see.... Your answers may lead you to make changes, re-set your compass, or make you aware of the goodness and beauty that resides within you.
Taking the time to reflect on who you are will lead to down a wonderful path of self discovery. You will see what others already know about you - why they chose you to be their friend. The greatest way to be a good friend to others is to begin by being a good friend to yourself.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Beauty From a Teen's Perspective
Recently, The Beautiful Women Project opened The Girls Summit for a branch of Girls Inc. Close to one hundred girls came together to spend the day celebrating themselves and what makes girls reach for the sky. The definition of a summit is a conference of the highest diplomatic level. These girls were all diplomats - representing their schools, friends, and peers all over the country. Their ears were their to listen to new ideas and their voices were speaking the truths of their generation.
I opened the program by asking the girls to share their definitions of beauty. Their answers were honest and to the point:
"Beauty is being pretty."
"Beauty is being pretty and popular."
"Beauty is skinny and perfect skin."
"...skinny, tan, great teeth, gorgeous hair."
"Beauty is what you look like on the outside."
Was I surprised by these definitions. Unfortunately, I was not. Today's teen girls are bombarded with so many messages of what defines a woman's beauty that it is difficult to filter fact from fiction. We know where the messages are coming from, but how do we help girls realize that there is so much more to beauty than their exterior appearance?
Presenting them with alternative images and role models of beauty is a start. Teen girls need to be reminded that role models are not just women that they see in magazines, television shows, or the big screen. If they are going to emulate those women, which we know that they are, let's take a moment out of our days to sit with our daughters and point out, or learn about together, these women's accomplishments outside of their appearance on the glossy pages or the silver screen. I bet that both of you will be surprised by what you learn.
Providing teenage girls with experiences that allow them to feel beautiful that have nothing to do with their physicality. Helping them pass a test or a course in school that may seem at the time, insurmountable. Learning how to drive a car with mom as the driving instructor. Beginning a new hobby together - painting, photography, tennis, surfing, something that both parent and teen are doing for the first time. These experiences provide a sense of accomplishment and self worth that go beyond a person's appearance.
Helping them achieve a positive body image - loving who they are and those around them because of who they are, not because of what they look like or their material possessions. Sharing with your teen things about them that you like and respect. Respect is something that we don't often associate with beauty, but their is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of respecting another for how they carry themselves in their lifetime.
I am happy to share with you some of the definitions that I received that recognized that their is more to beauty than a young woman's physical appearance:
"Beauty is being a good person inside and being yourself."
"Beauty is ... just being who you are."
"Beauty is having confidence in yourself."
"Beauty is the way that you feel about yourself."
I know that together, we will continue to help women recognize that their beauty is the sum of their life experiences. The Beautiful Women Project is dedicated to continuing our work with women, we are making a difference.
I opened the program by asking the girls to share their definitions of beauty. Their answers were honest and to the point:
"Beauty is being pretty."
"Beauty is being pretty and popular."
"Beauty is skinny and perfect skin."
"...skinny, tan, great teeth, gorgeous hair."
"Beauty is what you look like on the outside."
Was I surprised by these definitions. Unfortunately, I was not. Today's teen girls are bombarded with so many messages of what defines a woman's beauty that it is difficult to filter fact from fiction. We know where the messages are coming from, but how do we help girls realize that there is so much more to beauty than their exterior appearance?
Presenting them with alternative images and role models of beauty is a start. Teen girls need to be reminded that role models are not just women that they see in magazines, television shows, or the big screen. If they are going to emulate those women, which we know that they are, let's take a moment out of our days to sit with our daughters and point out, or learn about together, these women's accomplishments outside of their appearance on the glossy pages or the silver screen. I bet that both of you will be surprised by what you learn.
Providing teenage girls with experiences that allow them to feel beautiful that have nothing to do with their physicality. Helping them pass a test or a course in school that may seem at the time, insurmountable. Learning how to drive a car with mom as the driving instructor. Beginning a new hobby together - painting, photography, tennis, surfing, something that both parent and teen are doing for the first time. These experiences provide a sense of accomplishment and self worth that go beyond a person's appearance.
Helping them achieve a positive body image - loving who they are and those around them because of who they are, not because of what they look like or their material possessions. Sharing with your teen things about them that you like and respect. Respect is something that we don't often associate with beauty, but their is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of respecting another for how they carry themselves in their lifetime.
I am happy to share with you some of the definitions that I received that recognized that their is more to beauty than a young woman's physical appearance:
"Beauty is being a good person inside and being yourself."
"Beauty is ... just being who you are."
"Beauty is having confidence in yourself."
"Beauty is the way that you feel about yourself."
I know that together, we will continue to help women recognize that their beauty is the sum of their life experiences. The Beautiful Women Project is dedicated to continuing our work with women, we are making a difference.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Experience Your Beauty
As the creator of The Beautiful Women Project and author of Beautiful Women Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills, I have had the privilege of working with, speaking in front of, and listening to women at all stages of life over the past three years. I have found that when it comes to body image and self esteem, it doesn't matter if a woman is fourteen or forty - a woman can be told she is beautiful a million times by others, but unless she experiences her own beauty all of the talking is just ... talk.
How does a woman exprience her own beauty? By recognizing that beauty is the sum of who you are and your life experiences. I speak from experience - despite my own accomplishments I was not proud of myself because I was not proud of my body. It has taken years, but I finally feel my own beauty. It is a process, getting to know who you are, what you like about yourself, discovering your strengths and weaknesses, embracing change, and recognizing that physicality is only a small part of who you are as a woman.
It is not easy. It gets confusing. It takes time. Unfortunately, we are bombarded with images and ideas everyday that work against us. Shampoos, moisturizers, acne washes, clothes, purses, shoes, diets...the images and the companies tell us that they will make us beautiful. These "things" are out there, but no one needs to buy anything to make them beautiful, at the very least they should only be looked upon as a way to enhance what you already own - BEAUTY.
By embracing what is most wonderful about being a woman we can navigate our way through the maze of product placements, "real" models, and reality television. Discussion and sharing are vital - we find out that we are not alone in our struggle to feel good about ourselves, and begin accepting ourselves for who we are as women. I recently did a program with seventh grade girls and not only did they share their definitions of beauty, but also their fears and questions they had about their feelings and friendships. I know that because of our frank and open discussion the ideas that they held about beauty and their relationship with their own beauty, changed for the better.
Take a moment to embrace the best parts of yourself. Share your thoughts, fears, and questions with a friend or daughter. Experience your beauty.
How does a woman exprience her own beauty? By recognizing that beauty is the sum of who you are and your life experiences. I speak from experience - despite my own accomplishments I was not proud of myself because I was not proud of my body. It has taken years, but I finally feel my own beauty. It is a process, getting to know who you are, what you like about yourself, discovering your strengths and weaknesses, embracing change, and recognizing that physicality is only a small part of who you are as a woman.
It is not easy. It gets confusing. It takes time. Unfortunately, we are bombarded with images and ideas everyday that work against us. Shampoos, moisturizers, acne washes, clothes, purses, shoes, diets...the images and the companies tell us that they will make us beautiful. These "things" are out there, but no one needs to buy anything to make them beautiful, at the very least they should only be looked upon as a way to enhance what you already own - BEAUTY.
By embracing what is most wonderful about being a woman we can navigate our way through the maze of product placements, "real" models, and reality television. Discussion and sharing are vital - we find out that we are not alone in our struggle to feel good about ourselves, and begin accepting ourselves for who we are as women. I recently did a program with seventh grade girls and not only did they share their definitions of beauty, but also their fears and questions they had about their feelings and friendships. I know that because of our frank and open discussion the ideas that they held about beauty and their relationship with their own beauty, changed for the better.
Take a moment to embrace the best parts of yourself. Share your thoughts, fears, and questions with a friend or daughter. Experience your beauty.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Beautiful Women...Meet The Genuine Men
This weekend The Beautiful Women Project launched its "brother" project, The Genuine Men Project (www.thegenuinemen.com). These travelling exhibitions have identical messages: we need to begin defining individuals by the sum of their life experiences.
The Genuine Men Project focuses on the life experiences of thirty five men - ordinary fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, and neighbors that we encounter everyday. As the women of Beautiful Women... Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills attempts to redefine society's view of women and beauty, the men portrayed in Genuine Men...Journeys in Stories and Stills redefine what it is to be a role model by showing that what makes us strong is the way we approach, deal with, and then carry our challenges and life experiences. Their stories represent the type of men that others will want to emulate in their own life long journeys.
I began this project at the urging of my oldest son. As I completed The Beautiful Women Project, he marched in my office and declared, "You know mom, it isn't fair that you do girls and you don't do boys." He was absolutely correct. There is a great deal that we can all learn from the stories of men. I encourage you to take a moment to visit The Genuine Men Project web site and take another step and read the stories of these amazing men in the project's companion book, Genuine Men...Journeys in Stories and Stills (Bridgeway Books, 2008).
The Genuine Men Project focuses on the life experiences of thirty five men - ordinary fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, and neighbors that we encounter everyday. As the women of Beautiful Women... Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills attempts to redefine society's view of women and beauty, the men portrayed in Genuine Men...Journeys in Stories and Stills redefine what it is to be a role model by showing that what makes us strong is the way we approach, deal with, and then carry our challenges and life experiences. Their stories represent the type of men that others will want to emulate in their own life long journeys.
I began this project at the urging of my oldest son. As I completed The Beautiful Women Project, he marched in my office and declared, "You know mom, it isn't fair that you do girls and you don't do boys." He was absolutely correct. There is a great deal that we can all learn from the stories of men. I encourage you to take a moment to visit The Genuine Men Project web site and take another step and read the stories of these amazing men in the project's companion book, Genuine Men...Journeys in Stories and Stills (Bridgeway Books, 2008).
Sunday, May 4, 2008
How Do I Find the Beauty Within Myself?
I was shopping for shoes yesterday, when I woman commented to me, "I always wanted to be able to wear high heels. I am already six feet and they just didn't work for me." My immediate reply was, "I always wanted to be tall like you, that is why I am buying shoes with such high heels!" It just goes to show that it is hard to accept our own beauty and to look at our unique qualities as just that, qualities. Beauty is not something that we have to chase after, it is already of part of who we are as individuals. So how do we find, accept, and share with the world the beauty that lies within all of us?
The first step is to just look in the mirror and smile back at the reflection staring back at us. Self acceptance is the first, and sometimes hardest part of finding our own beauty. It is something that I work on everyday. Yes, we have our good days and not so good days: great hair, but puffy eyes; great skin, but our rear ends don't look so good in those pants. The combinations of good/bad are endless, and the odds of good/good/good occurring in our own eyes is very small. By changing the way that you view yourself will help you change the way that you think of yourself. Make it simple: when you look in the mirror, instead of putting yourself physical self under a magnification lamp, ask yourself these kind of close-up questions: Do I like the individual looking back from the mirror? Do I respect the woman in front of me? Can I be proud of the way this person conducts their life? If you answer yes to any of your own questions, you are looking at a beautiful woman.
If you are unable to answer any of those questions in a positive manner, take a moment and reflect on what you can do in your own life so you will like, respect, and be proud of yourself. Empower yourself, be an agent for positive change in your life.
Accepting our beauty is as simple as recognizing that physical beauty is only a part of who you are as a beautiful woman, it is not all of who you are as a beautiful woman. I am not six foot tall, but that doesn't mean that I am not beautiful at five foot tall. Another way of accepting our own beauty is to say thank you to compliments that you receive, whether it is about your appearance or an accomplishment. Feeling good about ourselves, accepting our selves, at any given moment of any given day, is an imporant key to accepting the beauty that lies within.
And sharing, how do we share the beauty that lies within? Allowing our experiences to shine through us for the world to experience. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Tell a colleague that they look nice. Tell a friend that you were touched by them. Hug someone. Do not hide from the world, share yourself with all of those around you.
Uncovering, accepting, and sharing your light, love, passion...yourself is the most wonderful experience. When it happens, you will ulimately uncover, discover, and recover the beauty that has always been a part of you.
The first step is to just look in the mirror and smile back at the reflection staring back at us. Self acceptance is the first, and sometimes hardest part of finding our own beauty. It is something that I work on everyday. Yes, we have our good days and not so good days: great hair, but puffy eyes; great skin, but our rear ends don't look so good in those pants. The combinations of good/bad are endless, and the odds of good/good/good occurring in our own eyes is very small. By changing the way that you view yourself will help you change the way that you think of yourself. Make it simple: when you look in the mirror, instead of putting yourself physical self under a magnification lamp, ask yourself these kind of close-up questions: Do I like the individual looking back from the mirror? Do I respect the woman in front of me? Can I be proud of the way this person conducts their life? If you answer yes to any of your own questions, you are looking at a beautiful woman.
If you are unable to answer any of those questions in a positive manner, take a moment and reflect on what you can do in your own life so you will like, respect, and be proud of yourself. Empower yourself, be an agent for positive change in your life.
Accepting our beauty is as simple as recognizing that physical beauty is only a part of who you are as a beautiful woman, it is not all of who you are as a beautiful woman. I am not six foot tall, but that doesn't mean that I am not beautiful at five foot tall. Another way of accepting our own beauty is to say thank you to compliments that you receive, whether it is about your appearance or an accomplishment. Feeling good about ourselves, accepting our selves, at any given moment of any given day, is an imporant key to accepting the beauty that lies within.
And sharing, how do we share the beauty that lies within? Allowing our experiences to shine through us for the world to experience. Smile. Laugh. Cry. Tell a colleague that they look nice. Tell a friend that you were touched by them. Hug someone. Do not hide from the world, share yourself with all of those around you.
Uncovering, accepting, and sharing your light, love, passion...yourself is the most wonderful experience. When it happens, you will ulimately uncover, discover, and recover the beauty that has always been a part of you.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Redefining Beauty
My goal in creating The Beautiful Women Project was to foster a very public discussion of the definition of beauty. It has been stated time and time again in this blog, The Beautiful Women Project definition of beauty is simple, yet powerful: it is the sum of a woman's life experiences that make her beautiful.
Everyday I read articles in print and online about body image, clothing, workplace issues, gender in government, young women and eating disorders, mother's trying to help their daughters, women trying to find their place in the world...each subject touches upon the same issue: no one is buying into society's current definition and vision of beauty. So if we are not buying into it, what are we doing about changing it?
For our part, The Beautiful Women Project continues to travel to communities throughout the country raising awareness that beauty comes in many different shapes and forms. These women are role models for us all reminding us that beauty surrounds us every single day. From the very beginning I believed that through the images and stories in Beautiful Women if just one person could view an image and/or read at least one story and no longer feel alone, weird, or isolated in their own life experiences...if I just touched someone in a way that they giggled, shed a tear of joy or sadness...thought of a sister, mother, aunt, or friend...if someone just looked at another a little differently after experiencing Beautiful Women...I had had done something about changing society's definition of beauty. I am so proud to say that I know that has happend at our exhibitions. This is why we work so hard to bring the exhibition to communities. This is why we published Beautiful Women...Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills so we can touch those that cannot view the exhibtion in person. That is why we began this blog, to foster discussion amongst like minded people, and those that come from a different perspective in order to initiate a new kind of communication. That is how change takes place - opening up and sharing thoughts and perspectives in a respectful space.
Please help us continue our mission by contacting The Beautiful Women Project so we can bring the exhibition to your community. Speak up on the blog - share your thoughts with us and others about redefining beauty. It takes just one spark to light a fire - your thought, idea, or vision just may be the one that spreads like wildfire. Share It.
Everyday I read articles in print and online about body image, clothing, workplace issues, gender in government, young women and eating disorders, mother's trying to help their daughters, women trying to find their place in the world...each subject touches upon the same issue: no one is buying into society's current definition and vision of beauty. So if we are not buying into it, what are we doing about changing it?
For our part, The Beautiful Women Project continues to travel to communities throughout the country raising awareness that beauty comes in many different shapes and forms. These women are role models for us all reminding us that beauty surrounds us every single day. From the very beginning I believed that through the images and stories in Beautiful Women if just one person could view an image and/or read at least one story and no longer feel alone, weird, or isolated in their own life experiences...if I just touched someone in a way that they giggled, shed a tear of joy or sadness...thought of a sister, mother, aunt, or friend...if someone just looked at another a little differently after experiencing Beautiful Women...I had had done something about changing society's definition of beauty. I am so proud to say that I know that has happend at our exhibitions. This is why we work so hard to bring the exhibition to communities. This is why we published Beautiful Women...Celebrating Beauty in Stories and Stills so we can touch those that cannot view the exhibtion in person. That is why we began this blog, to foster discussion amongst like minded people, and those that come from a different perspective in order to initiate a new kind of communication. That is how change takes place - opening up and sharing thoughts and perspectives in a respectful space.
Please help us continue our mission by contacting The Beautiful Women Project so we can bring the exhibition to your community. Speak up on the blog - share your thoughts with us and others about redefining beauty. It takes just one spark to light a fire - your thought, idea, or vision just may be the one that spreads like wildfire. Share It.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Help! It's Bathing Suit Season
I love spring. For those of us who live in a cold weather climate, it is the time of year where everything comes back alive again. The grass goes from snow-covered, to brown, to green. The trees go from barren, to budded, to full bloom. The temperature rises, the birds sing, and we get to play outside until dinner time. It is wonderful.
Yet, with spring comes the anxiety of putting on your bathing suit for the first time since shedding our layers upon layers of clothing. Not only are we pasty white, our bodies our just coming out of their winter hibernation. So how do we go to the beach on still feel beautiful in our bodies? Here are a few easy tips:
1. Be confident in who you are, even if you are not completely confident in how you look. We all have "off" days, even women who others would look at and wonder, "what does she have to worry about in a bathing suit?" Beauty shines through, remember who you are and all of your accomplishments, that is what makes a person truly beautiful.
2. The first time you put on that bathing suit, surround yourself with the people that already like you for who you are not what you look like. Remember, it may also be there first time this season in a bathing suit as well.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are unique and that is what makes you beautiful.
4. Participate in activities that you enjoy. Whether you are poolside or at the beach catch up with your friends, listen to good music, enjoy the scenery, build sandcastles, play volleyball, ride the surf, or lose yourself in a good book or read all of those magazines that have piled up next to your bed.
5. Whether it is a full piece, bikini, or shorts and a t-shirt – put on whatever allows you to have fun without being self conscious.
It goes without saying - Protect yourself from the sun with appropriate sunsreen, drink lots of water, and enjoy these great months with your family and friends!
Yet, with spring comes the anxiety of putting on your bathing suit for the first time since shedding our layers upon layers of clothing. Not only are we pasty white, our bodies our just coming out of their winter hibernation. So how do we go to the beach on still feel beautiful in our bodies? Here are a few easy tips:
1. Be confident in who you are, even if you are not completely confident in how you look. We all have "off" days, even women who others would look at and wonder, "what does she have to worry about in a bathing suit?" Beauty shines through, remember who you are and all of your accomplishments, that is what makes a person truly beautiful.
2. The first time you put on that bathing suit, surround yourself with the people that already like you for who you are not what you look like. Remember, it may also be there first time this season in a bathing suit as well.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are unique and that is what makes you beautiful.
4. Participate in activities that you enjoy. Whether you are poolside or at the beach catch up with your friends, listen to good music, enjoy the scenery, build sandcastles, play volleyball, ride the surf, or lose yourself in a good book or read all of those magazines that have piled up next to your bed.
5. Whether it is a full piece, bikini, or shorts and a t-shirt – put on whatever allows you to have fun without being self conscious.
It goes without saying - Protect yourself from the sun with appropriate sunsreen, drink lots of water, and enjoy these great months with your family and friends!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Spring Into Your Beauty
Spring has arrived, and it is a great time of year for defining - and redefining - who we are as women. The Beautiful Women Project is dedicated to challenging the traditional definition of beauty and asking everyone to take a moment and ask themselves, "what is my personal definition of beauty?" Our definition is simple, yet powerful: Beauty is the sum of a woman's life experiences.
The freckles on the cheeks that appear in the summer are reflections of days spent outside having lunch with friends, walking your dog, playing with your children. The lines around your mouth are from laughing at bad jokes, smiling for countless pictures, a constant movement you do with your mouth when you are nervous. The curves that you own, that may have not been there when you were a young girl, are testament to your development and metamorphosis as a woman. And the glow that comes forth from you when you enter a room...that is your true beauty, those are your experiences shining through you for the world to see.
So with spring upon us, take a moment and define - or redefine - your beauty. Think about who you are and what makes you most proud of the woman that you are today. Ask yourself what do I want to do next with my life? Where do I want to be next week, next month, next spring? The experiences that you have along the way to accomplishing the goals that you set for yourself, these are your beauty defining moments. Some will be wonderful, some will be difficult and trying. Just remember that these experiences are your true beauty.
The freckles on the cheeks that appear in the summer are reflections of days spent outside having lunch with friends, walking your dog, playing with your children. The lines around your mouth are from laughing at bad jokes, smiling for countless pictures, a constant movement you do with your mouth when you are nervous. The curves that you own, that may have not been there when you were a young girl, are testament to your development and metamorphosis as a woman. And the glow that comes forth from you when you enter a room...that is your true beauty, those are your experiences shining through you for the world to see.
So with spring upon us, take a moment and define - or redefine - your beauty. Think about who you are and what makes you most proud of the woman that you are today. Ask yourself what do I want to do next with my life? Where do I want to be next week, next month, next spring? The experiences that you have along the way to accomplishing the goals that you set for yourself, these are your beauty defining moments. Some will be wonderful, some will be difficult and trying. Just remember that these experiences are your true beauty.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Back from A Beauty Break
The Beautiful Women Project has not had a new posting for two weeks, to be honest every once in a while I think that we can all use a "beauty break". Everyday I read speak to people about beauty and body image issues, read hundreds of articles in newspapers in magazines from around the world, scan internet blogs and listen to radio programs all having something to do with beauty, body image and women's issues. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but there comes a point where we all need to take a step back and give ourselves space and time. With so much sharing going on, it is important to take time to process what we take in - and decide what is right for each of us as individuals. The most wonderful thing about beauty is that it is unique, personal, the sum of our life experiences - and what is right for one is not right for everyone.
Beauty is exhausting. Finding ourselves is a process. Transformation takes patience. At The Beautiful Women Project we are really talking about transforming how as individuals define our own beauty not only ourselves, but also how society defines beauty. The folktale about the tortoise and the hare is tried and true - slow and steady wins the race. There is no quick fix for finding our inner beauty or for redefining how we see ourselves and others. Yet, with time and an open mind it is our belief that it will happen in the most wonderful and positive of ways.
Beauty is exhausting. Finding ourselves is a process. Transformation takes patience. At The Beautiful Women Project we are really talking about transforming how as individuals define our own beauty not only ourselves, but also how society defines beauty. The folktale about the tortoise and the hare is tried and true - slow and steady wins the race. There is no quick fix for finding our inner beauty or for redefining how we see ourselves and others. Yet, with time and an open mind it is our belief that it will happen in the most wonderful and positive of ways.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
The Power of Beauty
I have learned so many things from the thirty five women in Beautiful Women, but I have also learned from every person who has attended an exhibit of The Beautiful Women Project and read Beautiful Women. In every woman I see my past, present and future self. I could make a list a mile long and still not cover everything that I have learned, but I would like to share three with you this week.
Beauty is transformational, not just for the woman who feels beautiful, but the people that her beauty touches. The message of Beautiful Women is simple, but powerful: it is the sum of a woman’s life experiences that makes her beautiful.
Being beautiful is about how a woman carries her life’s experiences and allows them to shine through her for the world to see. Beauty is not boastful, it is a gift to all of those who embrace it and have the honor of being in its presence.
Accepting and believing that you are a beautiful woman is not something that happens over night, regardless of how many times someone tells you that you are beautiful. A woman has to really feel it in the core of her being. I think being proud of yourself and your accomplishments is the first step in believing that you are beautiful.
Beauty is transformational, not just for the woman who feels beautiful, but the people that her beauty touches. The message of Beautiful Women is simple, but powerful: it is the sum of a woman’s life experiences that makes her beautiful.
Being beautiful is about how a woman carries her life’s experiences and allows them to shine through her for the world to see. Beauty is not boastful, it is a gift to all of those who embrace it and have the honor of being in its presence.
Accepting and believing that you are a beautiful woman is not something that happens over night, regardless of how many times someone tells you that you are beautiful. A woman has to really feel it in the core of her being. I think being proud of yourself and your accomplishments is the first step in believing that you are beautiful.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Unwrap the Gift That is Your Beauty
I was recently asked the question: "Why do you think women especially are so wrapped up in outer-physical appearance?" I wish that I could give a simple answer to that question.
Ultimately, I think that women like to feel beautiful. The sticky part of that is recognizing that there is a difference between feeling beautiful and buying into what others are showing us should be considered beautiful. From the time that we are little girls being pretty has had something to do with our clothes, hair, shoes. It is hard to change this as a little girl grows into a teenager and then a woman who is bombarded with images of beauty and perfection. The media presents an attainable version of perfection: any woman can achieve a particular look, weight, or type of skin as long as you buy their products. What women need to remember is that these companies are in the business of selling products and would anyone buy their products if they gave them acne, fly-aways, made them gain weight, or make wrinkles appear instead of disappear?
The Beautiful Women Project and our book, Beautiful Women, is a reminder to that we are already beautiful. All of the products and programs on the market are there to enhance our beauty, not magically bring it out. Beauty comes from within, you already own it! We are given a body, skin, and a set of circumstances that we weave together to make a life for ourselves. Let’s start focusing on who we are and being proud of that woman. If you want to change things, go ahead – but remember to reflect on why you want to make those changes and be proud of the experiences that will come as a result of your choice to change.
Ultimately, I think that women like to feel beautiful. The sticky part of that is recognizing that there is a difference between feeling beautiful and buying into what others are showing us should be considered beautiful. From the time that we are little girls being pretty has had something to do with our clothes, hair, shoes. It is hard to change this as a little girl grows into a teenager and then a woman who is bombarded with images of beauty and perfection. The media presents an attainable version of perfection: any woman can achieve a particular look, weight, or type of skin as long as you buy their products. What women need to remember is that these companies are in the business of selling products and would anyone buy their products if they gave them acne, fly-aways, made them gain weight, or make wrinkles appear instead of disappear?
The Beautiful Women Project and our book, Beautiful Women, is a reminder to that we are already beautiful. All of the products and programs on the market are there to enhance our beauty, not magically bring it out. Beauty comes from within, you already own it! We are given a body, skin, and a set of circumstances that we weave together to make a life for ourselves. Let’s start focusing on who we are and being proud of that woman. If you want to change things, go ahead – but remember to reflect on why you want to make those changes and be proud of the experiences that will come as a result of your choice to change.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
The Beautiful Women Project Supports National Eating Disorders Week
The National Eating Disorders Association has announced that National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is February 24-March 1, 2008. This week the epidemic of eating disorders takes the national spotlight. The intention is not to glorify eating disorders, but to help those suffering as well as to educate those who may have a loved one suffering from an eating disorder.
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
Thank you for your continued support - of our project and of one another.
The Beautiful Women Project believes that there is so much more to an individual than their outward appearance. It is the sum of their life's experiences that make them beautiful. This is our mantra and will keep repeating it over and over for the world to hear. It is that important. The thirty five women in Beautiful Women share thier life stories and their beauty shines through them for the world to see. Please read what others are saying about the book:
http://bookloons.com/cgi-bin/Review.asp?bookid=9120
http://www.roundtablereviews.com/brunonancy012108.htm
http://www.amazon.com/review/R32P4HPNKW5ZKW/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm
For every book purchased from our web site during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, we will be donating $5.00 to the Northeastern Comprehensive Care Center for Eating Disorders. Please pass this offer onto as many people that you know - this is not a gimmick to sell books, this is what The Beautiful Women Project does: help those in our communities who need help.
By clicking Beautiful Women Book on this blog or going directly to our web site and clicking "Purchase Book" follow the instructions and upon payment please enter NEDW.
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
Thank you for your continued support - of our project and of one another.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I Am Beautiful...No Matter What Anyone Says
I was recently asked a simple question: Why do you think women especially are so wrapped up in their outer-physical appearance? I wish that there was a simple answer.
Ultimately, I think that women like to feel beautiful. What we need to do is take a moment and realize that there is a difference between feeling beautiful and buying into what others are showing us should be considered beautiful.
From the time that we are little girls being pretty has had something to do with our clothes, hair, shoes. It is hard to change this as a little girl grows into a teenager and then a woman who is bombarded with images of beauty and perfection.
The media presents an attainable version of perfection: any woman can achieve a particular look, weight, or type of skin as long as you buy their products. What women need to remember is that these companies are in the business of selling products and would anyone buy their products if they gave them acne, fly-aways, made them gain weight, or make wrinkles appear instead of disappear?
The Beautiful Women Project and book Beautiful Women is a reminder that we are already beautiful. All of the products and programs on the market are there to enhance our beauty, not magically bring it out. Beauty comes from within, you already own it! We are given a body, skin, and a set of circumstances that we weave together to make a life for ourselves. Let’s start focusing on who we are and being proud of that woman. If you want to change things, go ahead – but remember to reflect on why you want to make those changes and be proud of the experiences that will come as a result of your choice to change.
Ultimately, I think that women like to feel beautiful. What we need to do is take a moment and realize that there is a difference between feeling beautiful and buying into what others are showing us should be considered beautiful.
From the time that we are little girls being pretty has had something to do with our clothes, hair, shoes. It is hard to change this as a little girl grows into a teenager and then a woman who is bombarded with images of beauty and perfection.
The media presents an attainable version of perfection: any woman can achieve a particular look, weight, or type of skin as long as you buy their products. What women need to remember is that these companies are in the business of selling products and would anyone buy their products if they gave them acne, fly-aways, made them gain weight, or make wrinkles appear instead of disappear?
The Beautiful Women Project and book Beautiful Women is a reminder that we are already beautiful. All of the products and programs on the market are there to enhance our beauty, not magically bring it out. Beauty comes from within, you already own it! We are given a body, skin, and a set of circumstances that we weave together to make a life for ourselves. Let’s start focusing on who we are and being proud of that woman. If you want to change things, go ahead – but remember to reflect on why you want to make those changes and be proud of the experiences that will come as a result of your choice to change.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Why Are So Many of Us Women Afraid of our Own Shadows?
Sunday was Groundhog Day - and the powers that be say that if the groundhog sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter. Why is the groundhog afraid of his own shadow? Better yet, why are so many of us women afraid of own shadows?
A shadow is simply a silhouette of our being. Silhouette - such a beautiful word. I remember as a child that as part of a class project the teacher would call us up one by one and outline our sihouettes for us. We would then cut them out, paste them on another sheet of paper and give them as presents to our mothers for Mother's Day. Our shadows were presents - gifts.
Our shadows are still gifts. They show us the curves that define our bodies, the wisps of hair that frame our faces, the length of our legs that carry us everyday. Our shadows only define our physical beings, they don't define who we are as individuals. We are responsible for the type of people that we want to be in this lifetime. When I look at my shadow I need to reflect upon the type of wife, mother, daughter, friend, and member of my community that I want to be, not the fact that I look stubby because I am five foot three and all of the flyaways are pronounced on the cement below me. Whenever I think of these things when I see my shadow - I smile, this is what I am most proud of and the rest melts away even for only a moment.
Next time you see your shadow, don't be afraid. Stop and take a moment to look at your body and become your shadow's friend. Don't run from who you are - create who you want to be.
A shadow is simply a silhouette of our being. Silhouette - such a beautiful word. I remember as a child that as part of a class project the teacher would call us up one by one and outline our sihouettes for us. We would then cut them out, paste them on another sheet of paper and give them as presents to our mothers for Mother's Day. Our shadows were presents - gifts.
Our shadows are still gifts. They show us the curves that define our bodies, the wisps of hair that frame our faces, the length of our legs that carry us everyday. Our shadows only define our physical beings, they don't define who we are as individuals. We are responsible for the type of people that we want to be in this lifetime. When I look at my shadow I need to reflect upon the type of wife, mother, daughter, friend, and member of my community that I want to be, not the fact that I look stubby because I am five foot three and all of the flyaways are pronounced on the cement below me. Whenever I think of these things when I see my shadow - I smile, this is what I am most proud of and the rest melts away even for only a moment.
Next time you see your shadow, don't be afraid. Stop and take a moment to look at your body and become your shadow's friend. Don't run from who you are - create who you want to be.
True Self, True Beauty
I love the days that The Beautiful Women Project women go on a field trip. It is an opportunity for me to meet women, hear their stories, and reaffirm what I believed in my heart when I created this project: we are not alone in our journey. So, that leads me to the question: if we are not alone on our journeys why does it feel so lonely at times?
Sharing our thoughts and experiences is sometimes difficult to do with family and friends. We are so afraid of being judged for being who we really are that we choose to isolate ourselves rather than of share what may be the best part of ourselves. It is easier to share ourselves with strangers - whether it be at an exhibition or through the internet, because strangers don't have any expectations for who we are suppose to be - they just accept us for who we present to them in that moment. Usually, that is our truest selves. And that is when we are most beautiful.
It is really scary to show a side of yourself that you don't think others will accept, I know I have been there myself. I bet what you will find is one of two things: (1) people already had a sense about who you really were and have been waiting for your revelation and/or (2) they respect you for being true to yourself.
It is here that I come back to my premise: beauty shines from within and when you are true to yourself your light shines brighter and brighter. It is the sum of your life experiences that makes you beautiful and the more that you share those experiences, share your true self, you will find that you are not alone on your journey. There are so many other women who are experiencing and feeling the same things you are in your life. The community of women is wonderful, welcoming, and supportive. Join us in sharing your true selves, your true beauty.
Sharing our thoughts and experiences is sometimes difficult to do with family and friends. We are so afraid of being judged for being who we really are that we choose to isolate ourselves rather than of share what may be the best part of ourselves. It is easier to share ourselves with strangers - whether it be at an exhibition or through the internet, because strangers don't have any expectations for who we are suppose to be - they just accept us for who we present to them in that moment. Usually, that is our truest selves. And that is when we are most beautiful.
It is really scary to show a side of yourself that you don't think others will accept, I know I have been there myself. I bet what you will find is one of two things: (1) people already had a sense about who you really were and have been waiting for your revelation and/or (2) they respect you for being true to yourself.
It is here that I come back to my premise: beauty shines from within and when you are true to yourself your light shines brighter and brighter. It is the sum of your life experiences that makes you beautiful and the more that you share those experiences, share your true self, you will find that you are not alone on your journey. There are so many other women who are experiencing and feeling the same things you are in your life. The community of women is wonderful, welcoming, and supportive. Join us in sharing your true selves, your true beauty.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Beauty is a Beast...We Can Tame
Everyday I receive alerts about hundreds of articles and blogs written around the world that focus on women, beauty, and body image. When I began the Beautiful Women Project I had no idea that there were thousands upon thousands of women going through the same thing-trying to find peace, love and happiness in their own skin.
It is easy to place blame on the media, advertisers, Hollywood, even Miss America. Yet, in doing so, we become victims of circumstances that we do not control. I won't speak for women everywhere, but I know that I don't want to be considered a victim anymore. I want to look in the mirror and smile back at myself because I love the person whose reflection I see in the mirror- not to check for lipstick on my teeth. And there are days that this does happen - they are the best days of my life. I am working on making everyday I day I love what I see.
I am learning that it comes down to this...it doesn't matter what the media, advertisers, Hollywood, or the people at the Miss America Pageant think about beauty. All that matters is what we as women think about ourselves. When you have a moment of quiet and think about the person that you are, what makes you smile? For me, it is knowing that I live an honest life. This is very important to me when, especially in a society today that makes it so easy to lie. I tell people my age, height and weight - I am not ashamed. I have grey hair that I color - HA! I don't wash my hair everyday - and not because they say that it is better for your hair. These are the parts of me that make me beautiful and I refuse to be ashamed of my body. There will always be things about physicality that we will want to change throughout our lifetime. So Change Them, but don't lose sight of the fact that beauty comes from within - five pounds heavier or lighter, greys or no greys, age spots or wrinkles - they are a part of who we are as women, not who we are as women.
It is easy to place blame on the media, advertisers, Hollywood, even Miss America. Yet, in doing so, we become victims of circumstances that we do not control. I won't speak for women everywhere, but I know that I don't want to be considered a victim anymore. I want to look in the mirror and smile back at myself because I love the person whose reflection I see in the mirror- not to check for lipstick on my teeth. And there are days that this does happen - they are the best days of my life. I am working on making everyday I day I love what I see.
I am learning that it comes down to this...it doesn't matter what the media, advertisers, Hollywood, or the people at the Miss America Pageant think about beauty. All that matters is what we as women think about ourselves. When you have a moment of quiet and think about the person that you are, what makes you smile? For me, it is knowing that I live an honest life. This is very important to me when, especially in a society today that makes it so easy to lie. I tell people my age, height and weight - I am not ashamed. I have grey hair that I color - HA! I don't wash my hair everyday - and not because they say that it is better for your hair. These are the parts of me that make me beautiful and I refuse to be ashamed of my body. There will always be things about physicality that we will want to change throughout our lifetime. So Change Them, but don't lose sight of the fact that beauty comes from within - five pounds heavier or lighter, greys or no greys, age spots or wrinkles - they are a part of who we are as women, not who we are as women.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Finding the Beauty Within
- Be proud of who you are, not who you think that you should be. If you want to improve yourself, take action. It is as simple as one step at a time.
- Think of your accomplishments. An accomplishment is something that you set out to do for yourself. It can be getting a good grade on an exam, a new job, and for a busy mom getting into the gym.
- Keep a journal. Can’t come up with an accomplishment off the top of your head. Go back and read your journal entries and see all that you have done, how far you have come since you started your journey. Need an idea for a journal – how about “Three Things I Learned Today”?
- Try something new and see how you do! You will almost always surprise yourself and do better than you imagined.
- Finish what you started. Complete a task or project that you put aside. There is nothing better than the feeling of satisfaction.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Reaching Out
Blogging is new to me, I am not sure what I am suppose to write about in this blog. I sit down at my computer keyboard and do what I do .... write. I have learned in the last week that others around the world really do know what to do with their blogs and are doing it very well. Everyday I receive hundreds of alerts for posts that touch on the subjects of women, women and body image, women in the media, etc.... Women of the world, and men too, have a lot to say on the subject of how they feel about themselves, about how women and beauty are portrayed in the media, and so many other topics that are near and dear to me and the Beautiful Women Project.
Everyday I receive hundreds of hits on the Beautiful Women Project web site (www.beautifulwomenproject.org) and the Beautiful Women book is looked at either at an internet book shop or a local bookstores around the world. I think it is amazing how far this project has travelled. One of my favorite things that I get to do is speak with the people who come to our exhibitions and presentations. I can see the lives that I touch and hear their stories while sharing the stories of the thirty five women. The hard thing about the internet, is that I don't get to meet people face to face, and that is what I would really like to achieve with this blog - to hear from the people that are touched by our message and the stories: will you tell me what you think? I want to hear about how you feel about your own body, your personal accomplishments, the idea that beauty is the sum or your life's experiences. I would like to hear what you think of our project, of the book, of the of the amazing thirty five women. So, tonight's blog is just that - a call to the internet world to hear what you all have to say.
I know that you do have a lot to say, just say it to me. Talk Soon.
Everyday I receive hundreds of hits on the Beautiful Women Project web site (www.beautifulwomenproject.org) and the Beautiful Women book is looked at either at an internet book shop or a local bookstores around the world. I think it is amazing how far this project has travelled. One of my favorite things that I get to do is speak with the people who come to our exhibitions and presentations. I can see the lives that I touch and hear their stories while sharing the stories of the thirty five women. The hard thing about the internet, is that I don't get to meet people face to face, and that is what I would really like to achieve with this blog - to hear from the people that are touched by our message and the stories: will you tell me what you think? I want to hear about how you feel about your own body, your personal accomplishments, the idea that beauty is the sum or your life's experiences. I would like to hear what you think of our project, of the book, of the of the amazing thirty five women. So, tonight's blog is just that - a call to the internet world to hear what you all have to say.
I know that you do have a lot to say, just say it to me. Talk Soon.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
It Is Time to Take A Moment
It is Sunday and the weekend is winding down. It is a great time to take a moment and recognize the beauty that lies within us all. It is the sum of our life's experiences that makes us beautiful, and remembering that is the first, and often the most difficult part, of really loving ourselves for who we are not what we look like to the outside world. The truth is, the more comfortable we are with ourselves, the more beautiful we are to the world...beauty shines through us.
I, know first hand how hard it is to really think of ourselves as beautiful. I started in a very dark place just five years ago. Despite my own accomplishments, large and small, I didn't find myself beautiful simply because I didn't fit the conventions of beauty. Since I began the Beautiful Women Project, I have come into contact with thousands of women like myself, struggling to find, and accept, their inner beauty. In doing so, I have come to define my own image. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments: the morning (usually a Monday just as I am getting ready to face the week) I see gray hairs popping out on the top of my head, I have become ever more reluctant to walk around the gym in figure hugging clothing, and I often catch myself staring at the age spots on my face. It is easier to get caught up in these "imperfections" rather than recognizing that all of this is just the experiences of my life that make me...me.
I, know first hand how hard it is to really think of ourselves as beautiful. I started in a very dark place just five years ago. Despite my own accomplishments, large and small, I didn't find myself beautiful simply because I didn't fit the conventions of beauty. Since I began the Beautiful Women Project, I have come into contact with thousands of women like myself, struggling to find, and accept, their inner beauty. In doing so, I have come to define my own image. Don't get me wrong, I have my moments: the morning (usually a Monday just as I am getting ready to face the week) I see gray hairs popping out on the top of my head, I have become ever more reluctant to walk around the gym in figure hugging clothing, and I often catch myself staring at the age spots on my face. It is easier to get caught up in these "imperfections" rather than recognizing that all of this is just the experiences of my life that make me...me.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Beautiful Women Begin to Blog!
Beautiful Women is very simple: it is the sum of a woman's life experience that makes her beautiful. Today, we as a society, are constantly bombarded with images and ideas of what makes a woman beautiful.
Beautiful Women began on a beach in Italy. As I sat on watched women of all ages, shapes, and sizes truly enjoying themselves and unencumbered by their bodies, I wondered to myself, "What do they have that I do not yet possess?" I returned to the United States and began searching for truly beautiful women, women who truly shined. I interviewed thirty five women, ages three through ninety and wrote their stories. I then photographed them doing something that made them feel truly beautiful or spoke to the woman that they were in that moment of their life. It has been the single greatest learning experience of my life.
Beautiful Women are all around us - everyday. Take a moment and look around, there is a beautiful woman right next to you. If you are alone, take a moment to look inside yourself and you will find a beautiful person. Having trouble? Think of one thing that you have done in your life that makes you proud, makes you quietly smile when you think about it. Today, I think about the birth of my sons. I am so proud that my body carried and produced my two little boys. That is what I think makes me beautiful. Everyday, I reflect on something else that I am proud of and acknowledge that beauty.
If we all could do that - take a moment to acknowledge ourselves or someone that we care about we would all begin defining beauty as the sum of our life's experiences.
Beautiful Women began on a beach in Italy. As I sat on watched women of all ages, shapes, and sizes truly enjoying themselves and unencumbered by their bodies, I wondered to myself, "What do they have that I do not yet possess?" I returned to the United States and began searching for truly beautiful women, women who truly shined. I interviewed thirty five women, ages three through ninety and wrote their stories. I then photographed them doing something that made them feel truly beautiful or spoke to the woman that they were in that moment of their life. It has been the single greatest learning experience of my life.
Beautiful Women are all around us - everyday. Take a moment and look around, there is a beautiful woman right next to you. If you are alone, take a moment to look inside yourself and you will find a beautiful person. Having trouble? Think of one thing that you have done in your life that makes you proud, makes you quietly smile when you think about it. Today, I think about the birth of my sons. I am so proud that my body carried and produced my two little boys. That is what I think makes me beautiful. Everyday, I reflect on something else that I am proud of and acknowledge that beauty.
If we all could do that - take a moment to acknowledge ourselves or someone that we care about we would all begin defining beauty as the sum of our life's experiences.
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